It's like a zoo around here.

EXT. ZOO - DAY

A father and his young son stand by the gorilla enclosure, watching them play.

SON
*pointing at a gorilla*
Look at that one dad.

FATHER
Yeah, I see it.

They continue to watch on.

FATHER
Cor, they're a bit smelly aren't they?

GORILLA GARY
Excuse me?

FATHER
What?

GORILLA GARY
I said, excuse me?

FATHER
You can talk?

GORILLA GARY
Yes, I can also hear.

FATHER
I, I can't believe it?

GORILLA GARY
Never mind that, do you mind not calling me smelly. I'm with my kid as well.

FATHER
I'm sorry, I didn't realise.

GORILLA GARY
Well, just watch your mouth in future.

The father and son walk away.

GORILLA GARY
Prick!

SON
Why didn't you stand up to him?

FATHER
Listen, I couldn't really do anything, I'm shagging his wife.

SON
You're such a crap dad, god I hate you!

The son runs off and leaves the father stood there.

END

Note: Made up on the spot, I think it shows.

It's very good, and a little similar to something on Not the 9 o'clock news.

But it's good.

I think the guy needs to give the kid a reason he walked away. That would make an ace concluding punchline.

Yeah, good suggestion sooty. Thanks.

Quote: sootyj @ May 25 2008, 3:39 PM BST

It's very good, and a little similar to something on Not the 9 o'clock news.

View original

Bet I know the sketch you're thinking of. Mel Smith was a hunter or something being interviewed by a TV host, (Griff Reese Jones). Rowan Atkins was in a Gorilla suit sitting calmly and comfortably alongside the hunter in a chair with his legs crossed. The interviewer asks the hunter about difficulties in capturing such a rare beast and the hunter says something along the lines of: 'well we sneaked up on him and so yes, we did startle him a bit.' (Or some-such).

The Gorilla immediately interrupts the conversation, announcing: "Startled? I was bloody livid!"

Liked it. It's got legs. I thought the best/funniest line is:
GORILLA GARY: Never mind that, do you mind not calling me smelly. I'm with my kid as well.

However, the father telling his son, (his son mind you): ". . .I'm shagging his wife", jarred somewhat. I'd have preferred he started to blurt it out, realise who he's responding too, and cut short the word 'shagging' before he'd hardly started saying it - but not quite enough to prevent the audience from understanding what he really meant to say.

Also, are you sure the son running away from the father is funny enough to end on?

Perhaps if the gorilla could shout - "Hey! What have you just said that's made my son cry?!?"

Or, staying with the 'shagging' line as it stands, the boy runs for comfort to the gorilla, and the gorilla saying: "There, there, my son, you're mum always said he was crap in bed compared to m... oh never mind, so I knew MY wife was safe all along".

Cheers for the suggestions Danny, the shagging line was added after sootyj's suggestion. The idea behind the whole sketch, apart from it being weird bollocks, is that a rather sweet scene of dad n son at zoo, turns into some err not so sweet? Plus the whole talking gorilla bit.

Maybe it's just me, but I think that's a very funny ending. An anti-climax rather than a punchline, but in the best sense of the word.

The father and son remind me of the best one-off minor characters in old episodes of The Simpsons, who were given a back-story with about five seconds of dialogue.

And I have to agree, I imagined the gorilla with Rowan Atkinson's voice as well.

I really like this one........and you didn't put it in your IN list....that line 'Hey I'm with my kid as well'.....classic

It's too similar to Not the Nine O'clocks talking gorilla sketch. If I can find a new way to do it, I will.

I know that sketch and I disagree AND lets me honest, though we are aware of the sketch, alot of people below 20 won't do. I think it is more about the father son aspect anyway, where the Smith, Jones, Rowan sketch was a spin on the capturing of the gorilla. There is room in the world for similarily, if there wasn't half the songs around wouldnt exist

If you want to change anything, well alter, I would make more of the father son relationship and how the dads (both the human dad and gorilla dad) want to look good in front of their kids

I thought the "shagging his wife" was the funniest bit. Lucky I wasn't drinking at the time or I'd have spurted it out - the drink that is.

Quote: Leevil @ June 4 2008, 12:12 PM BST

It's too similar to Not the Nine O'clocks talking gorilla sketch. If I can find a new way to do it, I will.

View original

You could always change the animal...

Neverrrrrrrr.

I like this very funny well done.

It's quite good, but obviously the first 2/3rds are quite similar to the 'Gerald The Gorilla' sketch. I think he's called Gerald. Anyway, using a different animal would still mean the sketch was similar. Otherwise, why not do a 'Dead Hamster' sketch a la 'Dead Parrot'.