Dyslexic Friend

INT. A HOUSE - DAY

There are two men sat round a table. One of them is reading a book. The other is writing something.

man1: Can you help me here mate, I'm trying to write a letter to my mum but I have terrible dyslexia.

man2: Sure, what's the word?

MAN1: Thanks. Errm.. how do you spell "working"?

MAN2: M A S T U R B A T I N G

MAN1: Cheers. Wow, I must be getting worse, that doesn't even look right to me.

The man carries on writing for a moment or two.

MAN1: Finished. Can you read it out to me please, just to check it?

MAN2: Sure

Man1 hands Man2 the letter

MAN2: "Dear mum, sorry I've not written to you in a while but I've been awfully busy masturbating with children in the community, so that takes up a lot of my time these days. You know me, I just love masturbating, especially with children. It's so rewarding seeing their little faces light up, it makes me wonder why I've never masturbated with them before. How are things back home anyway? I hear dad has stopped masturbating now due to his arthritis? How are you keeping yourself busy nowadays since you stopped masturbating? Write back soon. Lots of love. Dave"

Hmm, would work better if he didnt give it to his friend to read, but it cut to his Mum opening the letter and having a read.

It's a bit of a cheap laugh but it is hilarious

as above, not sure why you have the text read back to him? Its also quite long (the text) Maybe it would suffice to just have the guy slap a stamp on it and say how his mum will love to here about all the work he's been doing with kids? (also - would WANKING be a more likely mix up? i dont know much about dyslexia but i'm pretty sure you'd need to be retarded as well to mix that up!)

Yeah, I suppose it is a bit surreal.

I like the idea of him sending it off to his mum rather than reading it out. Good idea that man.

I laughed at the Dear Mum bit, even though I knew it was coming.

Could you add in a few more cheeky misspelt words, Two Ronnies stylee?

I liked it, it was silly but good.

Thanks for the input. Your ideas taken into account, I came up with this.
It replaces everything after "the man carries on writing for a moment or two"

MAN1: Done. My mum is going to love hearing about everyone I've been working with.

MAN2: Who's that then?

MAN1: Well, where do I begin. I've been working with the elderly, working with children, working with animals. I was working with animals day and night at one point you know. I've been working with the disabled, the blind, alcoholics, drug users, I had a spell as a stage hand working in the theatre. I've been all over the show working my arse off.

MAN2: (Under his breath)Don't you mean cock

MAN1: What?

MAN2: What?

Don't be shy, give the charchters NAMES!

It's good but I'd swap it around, so the punch is finding out why he wrote the letter.

But it's excellent, love these jokes based on substituting one word.

This is the best sketch I've read on this forum so far.

The idea is BRILLIANT. Wish I'd came up with it - you cretin! With your permission I'd gladly make a stand up joke surrounding this idea. Dont know how, i just love this idea.

hats off to you sir.

Quote: Kim Griffin @ May 25 2008, 7:41 PM BST

This is the best sketch I've read on this forum so far.

The idea is BRILLIANT. Wish I'd came up with it - you cretin! With your permission I'd gladly make a stand up joke surrounding this idea. Dont know how, i just love this idea.

hats off to you sir.

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This sort of jokes been done a fair few times, I guess this is me watching this part of the forum wayyyyy too long but whatever floats your boat.