Yet another Tilt reject (TM). I still have *no* idea if this works or not... I think it was the week Bush and Brown were due to meet up/met up or something and hence topical (in my eyes!)
(The 'DRESSED AS' bits were the similarly-successful NR/TS rewrites.)
Dan
=======================
THE MIGHTY BUSH
=======================
GRAMS
OUNDBITE OF MIGHTY BOOSH SOUNDTRACK WITH WORD ‘BOOSH’ REPLACED BY ‘BUSH’
GORDON BROWN (DRESSED AS HOWARD MOON) AND GEORGE BUSH (FLAMBOYANTLY DRESSED AS VINCE NOIR) DURING TALKS
GORDON:
Hey, hey, hey, W. Bush! Britain love me!
BUSH:
Britain do not love you, Gordon.
GORDON:
They do – they think I'm a messiah!
BUSH:
They think you're a mess.
GORDON:
Yeah?
BUSH:
Yeah.
GORDON:
Yeah?!
BUSH:
(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah.
GORDON:
Well, they don't think you're so cool.
BUSH:
I am cool. I understand things.
GORDON:
You understand nothing, sir.
BUSH:
Cheney the Colossus says I understand things. Popular culture. The youth impact of BBC3. 'Dead Ringers'.
GORDON:
You do not get 'Dead Ringers'!
BUSH:
Hey, I *get* 'Dead Ringers'! Culshaw is one cool cat.
GORDON:
I'm a cool cat. A real funk-biscuit!
BUSH:
(LAUGHS) There's no *way* you're a funk biscuit.
GORDON:
I could be a funk biscuit.
BUSH:
You could never be a funk biscuit. At best, you're a... jazz hob-nob.
GORDON:
What's a jazz hob-nob? That's not even a thing!
BUSH:
It is. It's like a mormon digestive. (BEAT) Only not as cool.
GORDON:
You can't just make things up and expect people to laugh. You're not Noel Fielding. (PAUSE) Why do these Iraq talks take so long, do you think?
BUSH:
No idea. Do you like my shoes? Platforms are in again. 'Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.' told me.
GORDON:
Can't we get Naboo and Bolo to fix this global crisis?
BUSH:
Nah – they've gone to Naboo-tlins.
GORDON:
Every time. (BEAT) I guess we'll have to resolve it in the usual humourous way then...
BOTH BEGIN TO 'CRIMP'
BOTH:
Iraq-Iraq-Iraq. Global terrorism.
Stop the bombing of innocent civilians
Bringing order and democracy. (PAUSE) Slow-ly.
(WHISPERS) Very slowly
Improving relations with Iran, Afghan-i-stan and North Korea;
stopping any humanitarian crisis can wait
as we fight, fight, fight
for oil, oil, oil
Lovely black stuff—
GORDON:
—slick little black stuff—
BOTH:
Funding our incompetence with taxes from the
Rising price, price, price of—
GORDON/BUSH:
(SIMULTANEOUS) —Petrol/—Gasoline!
END
