JAQUI SMITH ON THE PHONE.
No I don't care, you're not getting a pay raise. Your bunch of lazy coppers in in silly hats that look like willies.
Yeh well stuff you, haven't you got a Barrister to go and shoot? Or is it a Brazillian electrician?
Your going to strike, I dare ya.
You're on strike now?
PULLS OUT AN ENORMOUS BONG AND LIGHTS UP.
Finally.
What?
Wrote that a bit late!
She was having the piss taken by the police federation for being a toker.
So I thought she'd push them to strike just so she could spark up.
Worth refining or lousy idea?
Quote: sootyj @ May 23 2008, 12:35 AM BSTWrote that a bit late!
She was having the piss taken by the police federation for being a toker.
So I thought she'd push them to strike just so she could spark up.
Worth refining or lousy idea?
Lousy, I'm afraid! I think Stuart was kind with "what?" !!!!
I think it's one of your "if you've read all the papers this week" jobs. They're always harder to pull off.
I'm not saying it's your best work sootyj, but there is surely a wealth of comedy material that this woman brings to mind.
I would stick with the link between her, the police and cannabis and rewrite from there. It certainly is the sort of material that I love to use, I just lack the talent 
I didn't mind it. Didn't make me laugh out loud, but I liked idea.
No you don't Sofa you have the talent be a dairy man
for practice makes Lurpack
Quote: sootyj @ May 23 2008, 9:19 AM BSTNo you don't Sofa you have the talent be a dairy man
for practice makes Lurpack
It would appear that I am talentless AND stupid, as I dont even understand what this means! 
Anway enough of me, keep 'em coming sootyj.
lurpack as in the butter, I am on a grailquest for the worlds worst pun.
e.g. practice makes lurpack butter cos it sounds like perfect.
ooh thats bad
Ahh, I think your rhyming dictionary needs a tweak. Lurpack and perfect do not rhyme me thinks.
Quote: Badge @ May 23 2008, 12:38 AM BSTI think it's one of your "if you've read all the papers this week" jobs. They're always harder to pull off.
I'd have thought it's more like a "if you can read" one...but still very weak.
Quote: Griff @ May 23 2008, 10:44 AM BSTIt rhymes with "perfick" (well, half-rhymes). Maybe Sootyj has been watching The Darling Buds Of May ?
Half-rhymes? Not a term I've heard before, how does that work then? 
oh...slant-rhymes, well that's ok then 
I wasn't sure who was saying what, can't you put the names above dialogue?
The dialogue is suppose to just be the woman on the phone, we can only hear her side of it.