Quote: Griff @ May 20 2008, 3:13 PM BSTAaron A G String
Contrived comedy involving sublime Bach music, a pedantic web administrator, and a humiliating thong.
The images that that paragraph conjures are far less disturbing than the fact that you thought of it in the first place.
Tango and Slash
Sylvester Stallone continues revisiting old characters as Raymond 'Ray' Tango teams up with illiterate Guns'N'Roses guitarist Slash in this buddy movie. Stallone believes he's been framed for Rambo 4 and claims the whole thing was performed by a lookalike, whereas Slash is accused of lead guitarism on Blur's awful album 13. Both must fight together to clear their names.
Von Smallhausen Wonder
An American family man and huge fan of 80s sitcom 'Allo 'Allo creates a Gestapo robot, based on his favourite character, for his young boy to play with. Earlier series are mildly humourous but by series 8 it's practically Mississippi Burning...
Dan
Bune
The planet Birmingham is the center of the universe, as this is the only place the spice Balti can be found. Dare you face the giant Michael ELphick worms?
One man and his wad.
Unemployed Welsh shepherds, wank over sheep, whilst whistling.
Quote: swerytd @ May 20 2008, 3:31 PM BSTVon Smallhausen Wonder
An American family man and huge fan of 80s sitcom 'Allo 'Allo creates a Gestapo robot, based on his favourite character, for his young boy to play with. Earlier series are mildly humourous but by series 8 it's practically Mississippi Burning...
A robot in suspenders? Could be intriguing... But this midget robot, hmmm.
Shitbag The Saler
A talentless waster, Shitbag (Leigh Francis) from Sale, Greater Manchester, is a nasty piece of work; sleeping with women and not satisfying them, lying to get what he wants and even getting his mates beaten up in bars and running away. Eventually he gets his face caved in and dies a horrible, painful, slow, tortuous death eaten slowly by rabid rats whilst lying in a deserted shit-strewn alleyway. Uplifting.
Dan
Boonanza
Michael Elphick, David Boon, Clint Boon, Daniel Boone and Pat Boone work and live in an American ranch.
Boonanza not only made me LOL, but it knocks all my Boon gags into a cocked hat.
Damn you!
That'll be the gay.
Buddy Holly goes undercover to find homosexuals in the 50s and hand them into the Police.
Shelley-tubbies
Brightly coloured aliens run around a magical garden. Before duelling each other, writing poetry, and dying of pluracy.
Bananananza
A couple move to America and farm nothing but EU-rule-breaking yellow fruit that's way too curvy to be sold here legitimately. They are literally raking it in.
Gimpo and the Jet-Set
Leather-clad monkey boy forgoes his morals to find a way in to the rich and famous lifestyle. A sore bum is small price to pay for what he smells, as he can't see or hear anything through the mask.
Dan
Ronanza
Senile dead President runs a ranch, them darn Russkies have been rustling my cattle.
Brownanza
Unpopular Labour PM runs a ranch, that darn Cameron rustled all my votes.
Emmerdale Self Harm
Depressed Yorkshire folks cut themselves.
Euro-lack of vision wrong contest
Ultra nationalist waste money promoting their own crappy songs, in a contest no one cares about. Terry Wogan gets so upset he eats his own wig.
Sailor Boon
Dead alcoholic actor Micheal ELphic, in incomprehensible Japanese Manga, all about school girls knicker really.
Chicken Royale
A bunch of different species of chicken are given weapons and left to fight it out on an island until there is just one winner left in this experiment of ultra-speedy violent evolution. Winner gets bird flu.
Dan
Eurovision Bong Contest
Dutch are furious at not winning, against Muldova a country where Marijuana hasn't even been discovered yet.
Rigobert Song Contest
All the countries in the world build their own version of the legendary Cameroonian international footballer, which is then voted for by all its counterparts, awarding between 1 and 12 points for the best Rigobert. John Motson resides over precedings with his own brand of sherry-led fact-giving. Epic.
Miss Eurovision Song Contest
I miss it every year.
Mr Eurovision Song Contest
Yep, missed her again this year.
The bold gay whistle test.
Conifdent gay men, try to heard other gay men into public toilets merely by whistling.
The antique toads show.
Program comparing very old toads.