Okay guys, I wrote this today, I know it doesnt work yet but I'm not sure if its because the guy is too annoying or if it drags on or if the jokes dont carry it enough. Ill let you decide!!
TEXT RECEIVED
Written by Kim Griffin
humourfirst@hotmail.co.uk
CHARACTERS:
Annoying passenger (AP) – In the words if Irvine Welsh, this man is the ‘audio equivalent of the chinese water torture’, he just moans and moans at a poor guy for his bad ringtone.
Man with phone (MP)– Undergoes a massive rant from the annoying passenger for having a bad ringtone.
Crowd – One or two people that physically display the extent to which they are irriated by the annoying man.
((Annoying Ringtone goes off. ))
AP:
Excuse me? Yes you. What was that all about?
MP:
Sorry?
AP:
Do you think that ringtone its funny do you? That electronic-spazz disco?
MP:
I like it, it only cost two fifty.
AP:
So you’ve just paid two fifty to wound people in the ear is that right? Two fifty to come out here and irritate people eh? Well done you. Round of a-f**king-pplause.
((Applauses rigorously))
MP:
It’s supposed to be a laugh.
AP:
A laugh eh? This was a nice train journey until you ruined it. Look at everyone, they’re in emotional distress now that you’ve spoiled their journey.
((points at woman)) She looks as if she is about to cry!
How about I download an annoying one too see how you like it? Maybe one of those mind scraping baby ones , you know? WAA!
((In the guys ear.
The rest of the train groans uncomfortably at the noise.))
WAAA! Because that’s how annoying ringtones like that are.
MP:
Look, I’m sorry!-
AP:
-Throw your phone out the window.
MP:
What?!
AP:
Give it to me I’ll do it for you. See look there you go. Job done, no more crappy ringtones.
((Sits back down))
((to woman)) Sorry, are you alright? Did it annoy you too? Here have a biscuit.
((Crazy Frog goes off further down the train. He takes out a loudspeaker and a knife from no where.))
RIGHT! YOU! AUDIO CRETIN! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!
((Moves towards them.))
