EXT. Camera focuses on the outside of a newsagents. We hear a bit of a commotion inside.
SHOP OWNER (off screen): Oi! You!
Camera shows a man dressed as a big soda bottle and another man dressed as a hot dog quickly exit the shop. The shop owner is left standing in the doorway, in front of the open door.
SHOP OWNER: We don’t want your sort in here!
The shop owner walks back into the shop and closes the door. As the door shuts we see a sign on the door reading: “No Food or Drink Allowed”
END
Thanks, yeah I'm quite a fan of those jokes. It's a bit obvious, but nevermind.
Nice, not wholly original.
My favourite version, is a fresh dog turd, and a wig.
One's off his head, and the other's steaming.
Haha that's a good one. Are you a fan of Tim Vine?
Never heard of him, but people keep mentioning him.
I do like a good pun.
Never start a fight with a cough sweet they're menthol.
I would highly reccomend him, if you like a pun you should like Tim Vine. He is just a relentless pun machine. Holds the Guinness World Record for the most jokes in an hour (377 or something?). Or so the cover of his DVD said anyway!
Some Tim Vine:
I had a mate whose dream was to be run over by a steam train. It happened last week. Chuffed to bits, he was.
Velcro - what a rip off.
Top quality, maybe I should get my hands on some of his DNA?
Quote: sootyj @ May 13 2008, 11:09 PM BSTNever heard of him, but people keep mentioning him.
Read that sentence again - are you pulling our collective legs or have you just failed to spot the flaw in that statement?
I didn't say who they were mentioning him to did I ?
Tim in full flow... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eshR-WpdYDM ... he's the brother of Jeremy Vine the journalist...
kjs
Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg are worth looking into as well.
Quote: Pilot @ May 14 2008, 12:31 AM BSTSteven Wright and Mitch Hedberg are worth looking into as well.
Like Steven Wright's one liners and Emo Philips too.
Emo Philips is fantastic. The guy's a genius.
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing"
Just a comment on the format. I've always been told that you should not have any direct camera directions. So, instead of "Camera shows man dressed as a big soda bottle...", one should put, "Man dressed as a big soda bottle...". As well as flowing better, apparently directors get pissed off if the writer does his job for him.
Then again, people who tell me that annoy me, it seems to anal.
So, I spose that means I'm being annoying passing the information on.
Ho Hum.
A composer doesn't tell a guitarist where to stick his fingers Rebecca.
