State of Maths

Yet another Tilt reject. Plenty more where this came from. This was quite an early one.

Dan

==================
STATE OF MATHS
==================

F/X:KNOCK ON DOOR

HEADTEACHER:
In!

F/XOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

MATHS TEACHER:
You wanted to see me, Headteacher?

HEADTEACHER:
Sit down, Head of Maths. Have you seen this newspaper?

F/X:NEWSPAPER THROWN DOWN, PICKED UP AND LEAFED THROUGH

HEADTEACHER:
Page 8 suggests that more primary school maths experts are needed.

F/X:LEAFING CONTINUES

MATHS TEACHER:
8 – is that one little duck or the legs?

HEADTEACHER:
It's the one fat lady.

MATHS TEACHER:
Of course it is.

F/X:FRANTIC LEAFING

MATHS TEACHER:
Aha!

HEADTEACHER:
The percentage of 11-year-olds attaining level 4 and above at Key Stage 2 has gone from 77% to 59%.

MATHS TEACHER:
What a rise!

HEADTEACHER:
It’s a fall.

MATHS TEACHER:
Of course it is. A fall of... erm... 66 and a third per cent?

HEADTEACHER:
18—

MATHS TEACHER:
—*18* per cent! Disgraceful…

HEADTEACHER:
How many of our students are at level 4?

MATHS TEACHER:
Erm. (MUTTERS) One-two's is two. Two two's are five. Three two's is... (BEAT) 300%.

HEADTEACHER:
300% of our pupils are at level 4?

MATHS TEACHER:
Yes. Almost definitely.

HEADTEACHER:
Well above average then?

MATHS TEACHER:
Average?

HEADTEACHER:
(SIGHS) It states quite clearly in that report that the UK is one of the few developed nations where it's socially acceptable to declare you are useless at maths.

MATHS TEACHER:
Does it?!

HEADTEACHER:
Under the bit about teachers' basic requirement for training.

MATHS TEACHER:
Erm... yes... of course.

HEADTEACHER:
Tell me, Head of Maths, what is that requirement?

MATHS TEACHER:
Err... 'on-knee ger-ke-sur-eh iy-n te-he soob-jer-ektee'.

HEADTEACHER:
Was that 'One GCSE in the subject'?

MATHS TEACHER:
Erm... yes?

F/XIGH THEN BUTTON PRESS AND BEEP OF INTERCOM

HEADTEACHER:
School Secretary – get me Head of English!

END

It's not bad, but it's a bit obvious in some ways, and it's too long.

Reduce it to 2-4 lines of fast dialogue and you could be going places.

Quote: swerytd @ May 13 2008, 12:45 PM BST

HEADTEACHER:
The percentage of 11-year-olds attaining level 4 and above at Key Stage 2 has gone from 77% to 59%.

MATHS TEACHER:
What a rise!

HEADTEACHER:
It’s a fall.

MATHS TEACHER:
Of course it is. A fall of... erm... 66 and a third per cent?

HEADTEACHER:
18—

View original

Wanting to be pedantic, the fall would only be 18% if attributed to ALL children. As we've established that 77% of children attained level 4 and above at Key Stage 2, you would need base your fall on the 77% figure. Therefore 59% would represent a 23.38% (approx) fall on the previous figures.

Just thought I'd clear that up.

Neat sketch BTW - I liked it.

I can honestly say, that's the most unusual critique I've ever had.

Despite the maths degree, I clearly understand as much about stats as I ever did...

Dan