2 on Fritzell

HER FRITZEL IS TALKING TO HIS LAWYER

LAWYER

Mr Firtzel you're introuble, you're so universally hated that there's no prison that will take you. You're going to have serve your sentence in the Vienna kennel, for criminally disturbed Alsations. There is one good bit of news.

FRITZEL

What could that be?

LAWYER

You know your sinister dungeon, where you could carry out perverted sex acts in secret? Some one wants to rent it.

FRITZEL

Who ?

LAWYER

Max Moseley.

LAWYER

It doesn't look good Mr Fritzel. Stem Cell research, means the court can now bring you back from the dead. You're going to have to serve all 3 of your life sentences. Still there is some good news.

FRITZEL

What could that be?

LAWYER

Some one wants to rent your basement.

FRITZEL

Who?

LAWYER

Well it enables people to hide, completely out of touch for years, and ignore every body. Gordon Brown's wants it as an office.

couldn't these be one liners.

They're a bit stretched out as sketches.

Yes, but skits pay more.

Quote: sootyj @ May 10 2008, 8:13 AM BST

Yes, but skits pay more.

View original

Better to sell two good oneliners than no halfhearted skits....

kjs

i concur.

Each to their own, and their both functional, if not inspired skits.

Quote: sootyj @ May 10 2008, 7:07 PM BST

their both functional, if not inspired skits.

View original

Funniest thing in this thread.

Well that's just mean. I think my problem is I set my sights to low. I ask is it more original than a dreary 70s sitcom, set in a department store.

If it is then I write it up.

If I was an aspiring comedy writer, and created those, I'd probably chop my hands off. Y'know, pre-emptive for the world's good.

My word so bitter, and seeming so angry.

What was it about that show, you loved so much?

Always hoping there'd be special where you got to see Mrs Slocum's pussy?

I actually quite like the first one.

Second is alright, but the '... allows some to hide... etc' bit needs to be above it somewhere so the skit finishes 'Who?' 'Gordon Brown'.

Might work as a set of three for NR/TS if you had a third joke involved both Gordon Brown AND Max Moseley in a cell together (somehow).

Dan

Max Moseley flogging GB's bum, while he whines about how no one understands him?

Funny and nightmare inducing.

I think they're functional, but I liked the line about criminally disturbed Alsations.

Quote: sootyj @ May 10 2008, 7:07 PM BST

Each to their own, and their both functional, if not inspired skits.

View original

we didn't exactly rip your skits apart. If you don't want feedback don't post.

I didn't say you did, what ever gave you impression that was my intent?

I meant they were uninspired but, that maybe what the audience I was writing for, was looking for. I accepted the criticism I was agreeing with it.

Waring did I run your cat over or something?

ha! Sorry!

Thought you were commenting on mine and Smylings stuff.

i take it all back, whilst looking down at the ground slightly embarassed.