JAQUI SMITH IS BEING INTERVIEWED
INTERVIEWER
Ms Smith why has the government suddenly upgraded cannabis to a class B drug?
JAQUI
We have disturbing evidence over a million cannabis smokers, believe children's cartoon characters are real.
INTERVIEWER
Who are these million people?
JAQUI
The ones who voted for Boris Johnson.
Praise from you sir, I am truly complimented.
n.b. had a look at my "unfinished" could be an introducing project....
It is a good link between the two and a good joke.
Just a note here, Sooty. I try my best not to go on about grammar and stuff (even though it usually niggles me as much as it niggles our great leader, Aaron) but this is the second time in two days I've read one of your sketches where the punctuation has actually ruined a good joke for me! The rogue comma in the second line stopped the rhythm of the joke for me and I missed it at first read. (There was a 'to' instead of a 'too' yesterday in one of your skits and I missed that joke until a second read as well).
Now, you can obviously ignore me if you like (and I know people gave you advice in that thread yesterday so bear with me) but if readers of a high-volume of comedy (ie Treason, NR) read like me, they will just read once and skip through as 'not funny'.
I don't mean to go on, cos it could be construed as rude, but you could be losing commissions over it. It's a shame cos the two in question were both very funny after I realised what you meant!
Dan
I've got a pretty good hit rate with NR and TS, but you are right. Damn I seem to have unfortunate mix of fall stop phobia, and comma love.
And we live in a world of comma-phobes.
Just read it out loud first. Theres loads of dialogue on here that is nothing like the way people speak normally (not just you - most stuff). I give smears and gave up using a script because the way (most) people write stuff to be spoken is not how we speak.
When i write dialogue i write a rough sentence so i know what i want to say then move on...i later go back and (by reading aloud) work out the right words and grammar to put what i am saying on the page (as opposed to writing it then seeing if its how I'd say it.
lol - just realised i wrote smears and not seminars - too funny to change though!
Are you a gyncologist? To be honest I rarely plan, and usually write stream of conciousness.
A lot of the stuff for stage is quite stacatto in style, and unanturalistic becuasew that's what works, at least for me.
In a lot of topical stuff, it's a depserate race for the punchline.
Quote: sootyj @ May 9 2008, 11:22 AM BSTIn a lot of topical stuff, it's a depserate race for the punchline.
No need to make it the 100m comma hurdles though.
Nice gag tie-in. Agree with Swertd that the rogue punctuation almost destroyed the gag. As it was so short, I re-read and got it second time 'round.