Quote: roscoff @ April 30 2008, 3:08 PM BSTMurder She Wrought
Lively comedy drama about a female ironsmith and her penchant for bashing her customers heads in with a metal bar.
'Metalrrific' Blacksmith's Weekly
Good one. Nice word 'wrought'.
Worst idea for a sitcom Page 49
Ken's Living-tones.
Ex mayor runs a clinic to colour people's hair.
Gordon's Brown Sauce.
Gordon Brown tasty condiment, wasn't quite like any one else's. It was made up of ground up old Thatcherite policies.
Quote: Griff @ May 4 2008, 6:34 PM BSTWaiting for Gordo
Ken Livingston and Lee Jasper star as two men with nothing to do, as they wait eternally for their friend Gordon to join them at the unemployment exchange.
Music by "Yodelling" Frank Field.
"More Margaret Beckett than Samuel Beckett" - The Stage.
Mash of the Day
Highlights from today's potato dish action.
Christ on a bike.
Religious chase comedy, can Jesus spread peace love and understnading from his BMX? Before Judas, a Pharisee, and a couple of Roman Centurions on tandems, catch up and crucify him again?
May have been done????
Some Motherf**kers Do 'Av 'Em.
Set in picturesque Austria. Side splitting hilarity ensues in an incest ridden family and 'Mum's' definitly the word as her off spring fight to be the first to get mum up the duff.
'Not really unusual' Austria Today
'Everyday story of everyday people' Vienna Times
Nick & Margaret'd Do Anything
Nick and Margaret get their own Apprentice spin-off show, following arrogant people around with a film crew and passing smug judgement as said people get up to mischief. Margaret gets all the best one-liners whilst Nick corners the market in facial expressions. Subtly entertaining.
Who Do You Think You'd Do
Family history going forwards programme, where famous celebrities decide upon another celebrity to mate with and research into their future lines to see what happens until the end of time. Fear, laughter and tears every after as Jade Goody and Robbie Williams' chav lines returns the human race to the single-celled organisms we came from in the first place.
'Gripping like a margarine-covered ice mirror' -- Kathryn Flett
Dan
Everybody Hates Syph.
A side splitting comedy set in an STD clinic where we follow the hilarious antics of our in-patients as their bits slowly drop off.
'Not as funny as it seems' Lothario Monthly
'Wouldn't know anything about it' Journalists weekly
'Inciteful and true to life' Prostitutes Annual Check-up Magazine
The Royal Family
Show about an ordinairy fmaily, of parasitic wasters, on benefits. Except for some inexplicable reason they get millions. This week Harry gets cuaght claiming the dole in the UK, and working in Afghnaistan at the same time.
Come winehouse with me
Dreary reality tv showm, about hateful people judging each others dinner parties. Except Ami Winehouse is always a guest, and always attacks some one.
Quote: roscoff @ May 9 2008, 10:05 AM BSTEverybody Hates Syph.
A side splitting comedy set in an STD clinic where we follow the hilarious antics of our in-patients as their bits slowly drop off.
'Not as funny as it seems' Lothario Monthly
'Wouldn't know anything about it' Journalists weekly
'Inciteful and true to life' Prostitutes Annual Check-up Magazine
Surely that should be 'backside-splitting'? 
Derive
A grumpy old mathematician, a mathematician stuck in the 1800s and a cool mathematician with whitened teeth and too much hair gel take out the latest equations for test drives, seeing how the perform on the track and take on ridiculous challenges like integrating to one of the poles and pretending to like education as they differentiate across red-neck America.
'The sum of its parts' -- AA Gill
'Pretends to be three-dimensional but really two-dimensional when you look at it closely. Like Green's Theorem.' -- Adam Hart-Davies
Top Greer
Germaine Greer takes feminism a level too far and starts to make women like powerful cars, the last refuge of Neanderthal man. Men are declared irrelevant and banned from civilised society, forced to live out their increasingly pointless lives hiding in the sheds of the world amongst the plant pots. Jeremy Clarkson declares her an 'interferring Antipodean old heifer' and is crushed by the uprising of burning bras.
'Never has a programme changed the world so much' -- Lorraine Kelly
'They will never take our *FREEEEEDOM*! Ow! OW! Stop *hitting* me!' -- Boris Johnson
Dan
The Red Planet
Show for ardent conservatives. David Attenborough looks at socialism in the animal kingdom. This week gorillas or guerillas?
Scoop Show
Follow up to Poop Show
Beast Benders
Ricky Gervais takes his homosexual animals material and extends it into a comedy-drama that most people don't get. Complaints of him 'just playing the same guy' reach critical mass as he plays a gay lion who owns a pub. Series moved from BBC One primetime to BBC late night after the ground-breaking first ever gay dolphin literal head-f**k ever shown on television. Voiceovered by David Attenborough.
Parky's
Michael Parkinson rounds up the remaining Last of the Summer Wine cast members into a gang at the old people's home they now share, and they resolve to have 'one last shag' before they die. Toilet humour and old person nudity suffice, including a scene where Colonel Peacock looks into the girls' showers and is shocked by the sight of Nora Batty, Penelope Keith and Honor Blackman sudding themselves.
American Piles
After the resurgence of English fret-boy humour, blatant attempt to cash-in by casting Cleggy as a man trying to regain his virginity. Peaks in the scene where he is caught by his son sticking his no-longer-operative penis into a Stannah stairlift in the hallway. Patricia Routledge cameos as an spinster who regularly visits Bland Camp and then shocks us all at the end by mentioning that whilst she was there, she once stuck a tuba up her fanny. Low-brow comedy with Eugene Levy.
Dan