The Scaffold Man

THE SCAFFOLD MAN

THE CAMERA PANS TO THE FRONT OF A QUEUE LOOKING OUT ON TO A COURTYARD.

MAN 1(CHIRPY)

Been waiting long mate

MAN 2 (UNENTHUSIASTIC)

10 minutes or so

MAN 1

Oh, shouldn’t be too long now then

MAN 2

I suppose

MAN 1

Blimey, this weathers a bit undecided

MAN 2

Yeah

MAN 1

I do like the sun, don’t you? I can’t stand it when it’s cold and wet. Bit of sun on your back makes you feel life is worth living.

O.O.V.

Next!

MAN 1

Ooh that’s you. Nice speaking with you. All the best for the future.

TWO BURLY MEN APPROACH MAN 2. THEY WALK HIM AWAY TO REVEAL TWO HANDS TIED BEHIND BACK. THEY LEAD HIM OUT OF BUILDING DIRECTLY ONTO HANGMAN’S GANTRY, WHERE THEY PUT A HOOD OVER HIS HEAD FOLLOWED BY A NOOSE.

MAN 1 (TURNS TO MAN BEHIND)

Nice bloke that.

Not bad at all, and a nice reveal, again well paced.

Oddly enough I'd use a firing squad, or guillotine, I dunno they seem funnier.

But certainly a nice funny skit.

Very good sketch.

Cheers all for the positive comments.

I agree with Sootyj, a firing squad seems funnier. I quite liked it though. Nice pace.

Agree with the shooting (hanging is a bit long winded and nasty...you want sometinhing punchy)

Also, drop the oh's - it will come as a shock to many on here but not every sentance in dialouge needs to start with oh, ok, right or so.

Quote: M Lewis @ May 2 2008, 9:38 AM BST

...
Also, drop the oh's - it will come as a shock to many on here but not every sentance in dialouge needs to start with oh, ok, right or so.

View original

Hi All,

Er, actually, just like to point out we didn't actually write in an actual hanging till actually dead scene.

Oh, by the way, M Lewis, the oh and ooh are for dramatic effect to emphasise the slightly effete, overbearing character of Man 1. Maybe we got it wrong though not sure we did. Very much appreciate you, and the others, taking the time and trouble to comment though.
It's always good to get other opinions hence posting for critique.

Cheers.

you ruined it for me with the title - was thinking about that too much as i read it when it was clearly mean't to be a banal situation.

obviously sketches on TV don't have titles but you should try and put your reader in the same position as a viewer would be.

I think you gave it away by the title.

Quote: waring @ May 3 2008, 1:20 AM BST

you ruined it for me with the title - was thinking about that too much as i read it when it was clearly mean't to be a banal situation.

obviously sketches on TV don't have titles but you should try and put your reader in the same position as a viewer would be.

View original

Your absolutely right, of course.
Obviously we give each sketch a title for reference. But how does one post something without alluding to its subject?

i'd have called it hanging around.

Quote: waring @ May 3 2008, 1:39 AM BST

i'd have called it hanging around.

View original

More thought in to titles it is.

with titles as puntastic at as that i might develop a sketch show that does have titles before each one.