Two men in a pub

Two men in a pub.

FIRST MAN:
I’ve cut the daily commute down to three minutes by moving house, I get the exact same shopping online every week, I record all my TV and fast forward through the adverts, if I want to do a pub crawl I just stay in one pub and move between tables, I make all my phone calls on the hands free in the car, I swapped the dog for a cat so I don’t need to go for walkies and I listen to all my books on cassette as I sleep.

SECOND MAN:
Wow! So you’ve actually found ways of literally saving time? That's amazing, you’re like a superhero! So what do you do with all this extra time?

SECOND MAN:
Ooh, mainly jigsaws!

Haven't we seen this before?

i don't know have you?

not on this sight certainly, unless i've ripped of someone elses by mistake.

Ive read something similiar on here in the last few days. I definitely remember the jigsaw line.

just searched the word jigsaw - definitely haven't posted it here.

posted it the other week on writer's dock but that place is dead.

anyway feel free to critique

Maybe i read it on the dock then. I just definitely remember the mainly jigsaws line

on any of the many times you read the jigsaw line did you ever find it even the tiniest bit amusing?

I refer the honourable poster to my previous critique.

lol it will work for some but not for others.

Personally i would do this.

FIRST MAN:
I’ve cut the daily commute down to three minutes by moving house, I get the exact same shopping online every week, I record all my TV and fast forward through the adverts, if I want to do a pub crawl I just stay in one pub and move between tables, I make all my phone calls on the hands free in the car, I swapped the dog for a cat so I don’t need to go for walkies and I listen to all my books on cassette as I sleep.

SECOND MAN:
Wow! So you’ve actually found ways of literally saving time? That's amazing, So what do you do with all this extra time?

FIRST MAN:
Well, masturbation mostly.

SECOND MAN ( NODS HEAD APPROVINGLY )
Cool!

But its your baby, and its whatever works for you.

was having a stab at the complete pointlessness of jigsaws.

obviously i can never compete with the classic Simpsons "oh! A donkey!" line, but i can but try.

Just a tad different then, steven?

No, seriously, I haven't read anything on Writersdock for ages but have DEFINITELY seen this very recently.

waring, do you have a co-writer maybe?
Or maybe you've upset the other half and they posted in spite?

nope.

Quote: waring @ May 3 2008, 1:36 AM BST

nope.

View original

Oh. Well maybe I wrote it and you nicked it from me!

It is rather quaint and at best mildly amusing but nice idea.

Keep posting please. I have a feeling you might have a gem or two.

Cheers.

i've posted one in the current sketch comp if you fancy a squizz.

The concept it good. The jigsaw bit was sweet. The masturbation alternative was funnier.