Dodgems

DODGEMS

CARS DRIVING ROUND THE RIDE AREA MERRILY. ONE CAR THEN KNOCKS INTO THE BACK OF ANOTHER CAR. DRIVER OF CAR IN FRONT GETS OUT OF CAR AND WALKS TO THE CAR THAT HAS JUST COLLIDED WITH HIM.

DRIVER 1

Right OK, We’d better swap particulars.

DRIVER 2 (quizzically)

You what?

DRIVER 1

Come on. It was plain to see. You hit me from behind.

DRIVER 2(Slightly astonished)

You are kidding, pal?

DRIVER 1

Now look here. I don’t want any trouble. I’d just like to get this sorted out.

DRIVER 2(Getting annoyed)

I’m gonna pop you one in a minute.

DRIVER 1(Belligerent)

If you’re going to be like that, I’ll have no alternative but to call the Police.

DRIVER 2

Ha! Go on then.

DRIVER 1 REMOVES MOBILE ‘PHONE FROM INSIDE JACKET POCKET AND SUMMONS POLICE TO THE SCENE.

DRIVER 2(Disbelieving)

Oh, this is ridiculous.

A POLICE DODGEM CAR ARRIVES WITH FLASHING BLUE LIGHT.
PULLS UP ALONGSIDE “ACCIDENT”. OFFICER GETS OUT AND APPROACHES THE DUO.

POLICE OFFICER

“Hello. Hello. Hello. What’s going on here then?

DRIVER 1

Officer. This chap quite blatantly “rear ended” me.

DRIVER 2(Incredulously)

What is ‘e on?

POLICE OFFICER

BE QUIET! I will not have my crimescene turned into some kind of fairground!

F/X

Applause

ALL ACTORS POINT TO OFFICER IN APPRECIATION OF HIS GREATNESS. OFFICER ACKNOWLEDGES, BOWS ETC.

POLICE OFFICER(Speaking to Driver 2)

All you had to do was “Dodge ‘im”.

F/X

Applause

APPRECIATION ETC.

DRIVER 2

‘Ere, you trying to take me for a ride?

F/X

Applause

APPRECIATION ETC.
POLICE OFFICER

If you keep this up Laddie, you’ll get a “bumper” book of tickets.
F/X

Applause

APPRECIATION ETC.

LIGHTS DIM. SPOTLIGHT ON DRIVER 1.

DRIVER 1 BURSTS INTO SONG SINGING ‘ANY DREAM WILL DO’, WITH OTHER CHARACTERS AS THE CHORUS.
THE CAST SING AND DANCE THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FAIRGROUND.

This is very nice, and very surreal, and again has that thing that is so rare. Good pace!

Mind you if you had to write for a 30 second slot, would work if the guy just asked for insurance details.

Certainly it's a good funny skit.

It's a nice idea but you go straight in with the joke of wanting to swap details after a bump on the dodgems then nothing happens for a while. I'd strip out the 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th & 9th lines of dialogue and go straight to the police dodgem turning up without anyone phoning for him.

The ending is a bit weird too. If this was my sketch I'd probably miss out the APPRECIATION bits, get rid of the 'take me for a ride' line and have DRIVER 2 say something like "you'll never take me alive, copper!" and jump back in his dodgem, then cut to an aerial shot on a news programme of the high speed dodgem chase showing the man driving round the dodgem track with the policeman following him.

But that's just me. Like I said, I like the sketch idea a lot.

Lolling. Very funny.

Liked it Gary, nice funny idea.

Even better.

Hey, thanks all for the positive comments!

Aid and I are chuffed to bits.

It's the direction we want to go in but Aid isn't sure there is a market for it but we'll keep on keeping on with the genre.

Amongst other things.

Cheers.

A nice idea at the beginning but it is obvious you were stuck for an ending so relied on a few dire puns. I'd dodg'em if I were you.

Quote: DIKTURNIP @ April 30 2008, 11:35 AM BST

A nice idea at the beginning but it is obvious you were stuck for an ending so relied on a few dire puns. I'd dodg'em if I were you.

View original

I liked the initial idea, but could see the police car coming a mile off. Not always a bad thing, but I think in this case you should follow it up with another twist. Perhaps Driver 1 has no tax disc or something and gets arrested. I'd end it there. The all singing, all dancing ending was a bit over the top in my opinion. It's your sketch though, so hey!

Any one mind if I stick up a suggestion?

No i don't mind.

He goes to the shooting gallery next.

Turns around and he's surrounded by armed police.

Quote: sootyj @ April 30 2008, 2:03 PM BST

Any one mind if I stick up a suggestion?

View original

As long as it's not suggestive.