Here's something I wrote the other day. I intend to go back and work on it at some point as there's a couple of things I'd like to tighten up. It's quite whimsical.
Ext. Office Building
The camera pans down the face of a small office building. Smoke is coming from the windows and a fire alarm is ringing. The camera stops at the bottom, where a manager, his assistant and a crowd of office workers stand. The manager is reading names from a piece of paper.
Manager: Biggins?
Biggins: (O.S) Here.
Manager: Kerrigan?
Kerrigan: (O.S) Here.
Manager: Jones? (SILENCE) Jones?
The manager turns to his assistant.
Manager: Where’s Jones?
Assistant: (LOOKS ROUND) I don’t know.
Jones: (O.S) HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!
Manager: What was that?
Assistant: What was what?
Jones: (O.S) HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!
Manager: That.
Assistant: It sounded a bit… a bit like the shrill cry of an otter.
Manager: An otter? You don’t think there’s one trapped, do you?
Assistant: I hope not. I f**king love otters.
Manager: (CONCERNED) Me too.
Jones: (O.S) HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!
Assistant: Look! It’s Jones!
Jones is hanging out of a window. Smoke is pouring out.
Manager: Jones, have you got an otter up there?
Jones: What? No!
Manager: Oh. Well why the blue blazes haven’t you evacuated?
Jones: The door’s stuck.
Manager: Kick it open.
Jones: I can’t.
Manager: Why?
Jones: It’s on fire. (COUGHS) Have you rung the fire brigade?
Manager: No.
Jones: Why?!
Manager: That’s your job. In the case of a fire, I read the role-call and you ring 999.
Jones: But I can’t!
Manager: Why?!
Jones: The phones on fire!
Manager: Are you trying to delegate?
Jones: AGGGHHH! My legs on fire!
Manager: Look, if you come down here, you can use my mobile.
Jones: Just chuck it up.
Manager: No! It cost me £300! You’ll have to jump.
Jones: I’ll break my neck!
Manager: (SHAKES HEAD) Bloody college boys!
A shrieking cry is heard. The manager looks at his assistant.
Manager: What the hell is that?
The shrieking cry is heard again.
Assistant: It’s Mr Otter!
Mr Otter – an otter in a shirt and trousers - is shown leaning out of a window. Smoke is pouring out.
The manager looks at his piece of paper.
Manager: He’s not on the list! Who put this thing together?
Assistant: (SNARLED) Jones!
Manager: You bastard, Jones!
Jones is shown slumped over the window sill. He waves his hand weakly in the air.
Jones: Help… me…
The manager looks at his assistant.
Manager: Come on!
The two run into the building. The camera pans up and stops at the window where Jones is slumped. The manager and the assistant run up to Jones. They look at him.
Manager: Next door!
Manager and assistant run away from the window. The camera pans across to the next window, where Mr Otter is gasping for air. Manager and assistant run up Mr Otter. The pick him up and disappear from the window. The camera pans down to the bottom of the building. The assistant and manager carry out Mr Otter. The manager looks up at Jones lifeless body.
Manager: You wait til your appraisal!
ENDS
