I can't imagine it being
The One Shoe Shocker!!! Page 2
Quote: Smithy @ April 23 2008, 12:22 PM BSTI quite like the idea, but think the dialogue needs tightening a little, and also think it would work much better as a scene in a sitcom (something like Pulling), rather than as a stand alone sketch.
I agree but would go further. The loss of a shoe could be a decent plot for a whole episode of sitcom - the quest to retrieve the shoe. Quite farcical, but possibly with tragic undertones as Godot has hinted at.
I found the dialogue a bit wordy as well, but no problem with the M-F banter. It isn't always the man who is stupid in your stuff, as regular readers will know.
If I could make another suggestion, I think you've missed some potential with the left-right confusion. I think it would be funnier if it really was his shoe at the pub, but she didn't find out until later that he had one on the wrong foot.
Tee Hee!
Thanks all.
Godot I spat my coffee out! That was funny. Sure some shoes are from dead guys.
But what about the ones in fields. They can't all belong to the priest among the balloons.I see them everywhere. Look about & ye shall find.
I worked in a pub & I am telling you in my Two years I found a fair few odd shoes. I even really did have a girl ring up & ask if we had her boyfriend's trainer. I made her describe it in graphic detail & I and the regulars had tremendous fun with that.
The sketch was long winded & needs a better punch. Of that I am in absoloute agreement. I read it back just now & can not agree more. I will re work it.
Cheers.
PS. Badge is correct. I dont always put guys down. However if I was a doctor with a euthanasea certificate.............
Quote: Charley @ April 23 2008, 8:33 PM BSTTee Hee!
Thanks all.
PS. Badge is correct. I dont always put guys down. .............
Why not? 
Quote: Charley @ April 23 2008, 8:33 PM BSTthe priest among the balloons.
Is that a saying?
I like it.
Re: the end/punchline. Why not have it so when Emily turns back to Gary after the phone call he has somehow lost his remaining shoe?
Quote: Ladma @ April 24 2008, 3:26 PM BSTRe: the end/punchline. Why not have it so when Emily turns back to Gary after the phone call he has somehow lost his remaining shoe?
I like that.