British Comedy Guide

Lonley Hearts...

Not a sketch, but do any of these work?
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Lonely Hearts & Lonely Souls.

Feisty Young woman 22 low self esteem seeks serial partners for meaningless sex and nothing more. Box 7837

Shy Male 33 no social skills due to overbearing mother seeks woman 20-25 for dysfunctional relationship and first in a series of divorces. Box 3545

Cinderella seeks prince charming for verbal and possible physical abuse. Willing to cover bruises/make excuses/take blame. Box 1562

Self Made financially secure Male late 20’s? Can I move in wiv u. My mum has thrown me out. Nearly 16 will do BJ’s. Box 1516

Fun Loving / alcoholic / drug addict male 29 seeks anyone female or male, any age, will do anything to support habit. Box 7356

Happily married man late 30’s seeks insecure woman 45-60 to lie to and lead on for sex and as much money as he can con out of her. Box 3562

Teenage Girls messing around. Will arrange to met you, then sit in café across the road pissing themselves with laughter as you stand in rain for half an hour.

Financially Secure male early 50’s recently divorced seeks submissive woman will eventually give up and buy new wife off the internet. Box 5625

For Smart & Sane read emotional & needy. Female 37 no previous long-term relationships desperately wants babies before clock runs out. Box 6699

Bunny boiler 28 seeks male 35-45 to stalk and generally terrorise. Would prefer married or recently divorced man with happy family to destroy. Box 6669

Gentleman mid 50’s recently divorced seeks Female mid 30’s with teenage daughter for leering at and much much more. Box 7865

Sorry, these things don't do anything for me. Lonely hearts ads and horoscopes have been done to death, I think.

Quote: KJSmyling @ April 23 2008, 8:35 PM BST

Gentleman mid 50’s recently divorced seeks Female mid 30’s with teenage daughter for leering at and much much more. Box 7865

This one made me giggle. Personally, it was because the ending, although obvious in content, is done in an slightly more unexpected way. The others seemed more to just state facts. This one finished with a extra twist.

I haven't seen any of these type of gags, I found them hilarious

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