The One Shoe Shocker!!!

The One Shoe Shocker.

This sketch is based on all those odd mens shoes I see at the side of roads, on streets & in fields, even left in pubs. It never ceases to amaze me how a fella can lose a shoe!

INT

Gary stumbles into the house, pissed. He stands at the door swaying & His wife Emily is glaring at him. The camera moves down to reveal a one shoed Gary.

Emily
(Hands on Hips)
(Shrieks) Gary! Where is your shoe.

Gary
On my foot (Hiccup) Look. (Holds his right foot up to reveal a shoe, then holds his left foot up to reveal a sock) (Shocked) Ohhhhh some f**ker stole my shoe!

Emily
How can someone steal a shoe without you noticing?

Gary
(Squiffy eyed) I dunno love, but Jeeez I cant believe someone thieved my shoe.

Emily
No one stole it you egit. They would have to be between your legs, untie those trainers & slip it off without you noticing. NOW Where is it Gary. Where is your Reebok?

Gary
(Hiccups) Maybe I left it in the pub then?

Emily
Why would you take your left shoe off & then just leave it in the pub. Why Gary?
How could you not notice it was missing anyway on the walk home.

Gary
(Shrugs) (Looks down at his socked foot & wiggles his toes curiously)

Emily
(Shrieks Louder) GARY! I have gone out & got bladdered a zillion times & I have NEVER come home in just one shoe. No matter how pissed I was I would notice. I would walk funny for a start & feel the f**king ground.

Gary
(Hiccups) (Childlike voice) Wheres my shoe shoe gone Em’s.

Emily rings the pub.

Landlady
Hello, the Fox & Hound Public House

Emily
Yes Hi there. My husband was in earlier & he seems to have left his shoe.

Landlady
Well what kind of shoe is it, we have a selection of 4 single shoes here?

Emily
Really?

Landlady
Oh yes. Men lose their shoes all the time dear. It’s a mystery how, but a sad fact that they do.

Emily
Hmmm! Anyway his is a blue Reebok.

Landlady
What size is it?

Emily
10

Landlady
Does it have any specific scuff marks?

Emily
Erm (Confused) I don’t remember

Landlady
Well I am sorry Dear but we can not hand out shoes willy nilly. We need to make sure they are going to the correct foot.

Emily
Erm… (Excited) Yes yes there is a scuff on the toe & on the rubber heel bit to the left

Landlady
What foot?

Emily
Huh?

Landlady
Is it his left or his right.

Emily
Left

Landlady
No sorry we only have a right Blue Reebok with a scuffed toe & rubber heel to the left here.

Emily
Erm! Hold on a minute. (Checks Gary’s shoe to see if he has put it on the correct foot)
(Goes back to the phone) No it is definitely his left shoe.

Landlady
Sorry Dear. Try the The Ship Public House. It may be there. Failing that I am afraid it’s a goner love.

Emily Glares at Gary who is still staring curiously at his socked foot Wiggling his toes.

Gary
Shoe Shoe all gone away Em’s. (Shrugs)

Very good Charley. Did Gav do this tonight?

Those shoes on the roadside are mostly from people who have died, Charley.

Nice Charley, ending was quite lame though,

What's an 'egit'? Similar to an 'eejit'?

Charley, Your male/female dialogue always seems to rely on the fact that the woman is shouting at the man for the humour and not a lot else.

Also, lines like this "How could you not notice it was missing anyway on the walk home." seem to reflect a lack of reading aloud. Its over long and clunky....and following the line that it does, almost pointless anyway.

You could loose 40% of the dialogue i'd have thought....although the 60% left would still be bloke getting yelled at.

I agree with M Lewis about trimming the edges, but besides that I found it rather amusing. That may be because it's quite "female humour". The hints of physical comedy were also good, people seem to forget that these days. On the whole, thumbs up from me Charley.

It's an interesting enough starting point but it's drowned under all that dialogue. Spike Jonze managed to explore the same subject without using a word. Here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgpGD6_aimc

I think the idea of one man losing one shoe (and explaining it to his gf) is fine but this whole shoe losing thing...I'm not so sure. I think if a stand - up did a routine that started "Hey what about all those shoes everywhere...!?" people wd just stare blankly.

Quote: DIKTURNIP @ April 23 2008, 11:06 AM BST

"Hey what about all those shoes everywhere...!?" people wd just stare blankly.

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Taken out of context that sounds funny.

Quote: oldcowgrazing @ April 23 2008, 11:34 AM BST

But I think Charley's sketch is funny it just needs tightening.

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I think Emily needs to chill out - it's not her shoe that's missing. She'll have a Connery if she carries on like that.

I quite like the idea, but think the dialogue needs tightening a little, and also think it would work much better as a scene in a sitcom (something like Pulling), rather than as a stand alone sketch.

I'd start it like this...only I don't know how to end it.

.........................................................

Gary stumbles into the house, pissed. He stands at the door swaying & His wife Emily is glaring at him. The camera moves down to reveal a one shoed Gary.

Emily
(Hands on Hips)
(Shrieks) Gary! Where is your shoe?

Gary
On my foot (Hiccup)

Emily
How can someone, without YOU noticing, steal a shoe?

Gary
(Squiffy eyed) Steal? They haven't. I found this one.

Emily
What? Where?

Gary
(Hiccups) In my shoe rack.

Emily
So you went out with one shoe?.

Gary
(Shrugs) (Looks down at his socked foot & wiggles his toes curiously)
Yeah.

Emily
So you were pissed before you set off.

Gary
(Hiccups) (Childlike voice) Where's my shoe shoe gone Em’s.

Emily
Well, it's not in the shoe rack.

GARY
Somebody's nicked it then.

................................................................

Landlady
Oh yes. Men lose their shoes all the time dear. It’s a mystery how, but a sad fact that they do.

Emily
Hmmm! Anyway his is a blue Reebok.

Landlady
What size is it?

Emily
10

Landlady
Does it have any specific scuff marks?

Emily
Erm (Confused) I don’t remember

Landlady
Well I am sorry Dear but we can not hand out shoes willy nilly. We need to make sure they are going to the correct foot.

Emily
Erm… (Excited) Yes yes there is a scuff on the toe & on the rubber heel bit to the left

Landlady
What foot?

Emily
Huh?

Landlady
Is it his left or his right.

Emily
Left

Landlady
No sorry we only have a right Blue Reebok with a scuffed toe & rubber heel to the left here.

Emily
Erm! Hold on a minute. (Checks Gary’s shoe to see if he has put it on the correct foot)
(Goes back to the phone) No it is definitely his left shoe.

Landlady
Sorry Dear. Try the The Ship Public House. It may be there. Failing that I am afraid it’s a goner love.

Emily Glares at Gary who is still staring curiously at his socked foot Wiggling his toes.

Gary
Shoe Shoe all gone away Em’s. (Shrugs)

It seems too 'Men are such idiots, it's all left to women to sort the problems out'.

I don't mean it's a bad angle to come from, but it's just the same joke over and over in this sketch.

Quote: Winterlight @ April 23 2008, 2:58 PM BST

It seems too 'Men are such idiots, it's all left to women to sort the problems out'.

I don't mean it's a bad angle to come from, but it's just the same joke over and over in this sketch.

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That's because for centuries upon centuries it was quite the reverse

Quote: bushbaby @ April 23 2008, 3:03 PM BST

That's because for centuries upon centuries it was quite the reverse

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Yes, and that wasn't terribly funny either, was it?