“EXAM SUCCESS” (Radio)
DAD:
Right Charlie, remember what we told you. You’ll get two percent more in today’s exams if you tell them your pet rabbit’s died.
CHARLIE:
But I don’t have a pet rabbit.
DAD:
Well, look, your mum and I have talked about it, and guess what’s in this box… da da!
CHARLIE:
Wow! Can I call him Thumper?
DAD:
If you like.
F/X: BANG OF GUN. CHARLIE CRIES
CHARLIE:
That’s so unfair! So unfair!
DAD:
That’s not quite all, I’m afraid. You get another five percent if a parent dies. So your mother won’t be driving you to school this morning, Charlie.
CHARLIE:
(Through tears) Why?
DAD:
She’s, er… she’s in the garden. Having a lie down. In a bin bag. Right. Erm, Charlie, what are you doing with daddy’s gun? Daddy needs to throw that in the river.
F/X: BANG OF GUN
CHARLIE:
Now… five percent, plus another five percent, plus two percent, equals... fifty-five point two percent? No, I don’t think that’s right. Gosh, it’s a good thing it’s my maths exam today!
ENDS
Possible follow-up:
TEACHER:
Charlie, I’m afraid despite the really awful week you must have had, you only scored twelve percent on the maths test… Charlie? What are doing?
F/X: BANG OF GUN
ENDS