Joke sketch

INT. PUB – NIGHT

TWO GUYS, DARREN AND TOM, DRINKING AND HAVING A LAUGH.

DARREN
Alright, how about this one? What's black and white and red all over?

TOM
I don't know.

DARREN
A…

TOM
…don't tell me!

THERE'S A LONG SILENCE AS TOM MULLS IT OVER.

DARREN
Do you want to know the answer?

TOM
On my own terms, Darren. On my own terms…

DARREN
Not again! It's just a joke, Tom!

BUT IT'S TOO LATE. TOM HAS RISEN AND LEFT THE PUB.

CUT TO:

MONTAGE BEGINS

EXT. WOODS – DAY

TOM HIKES THROUGH A FOREST, STICK IN HAND.

TOM
(TO HIMSELF)
Black and white and red all over?

EXT. CLIFF FACE - DAY

TOM SCALES A MOUNTAIN IN A BITING THUNDERSTORM.

TOM
Black… and white… and red… all over?

EXT. SUMMIT – DAY

SUNSET. TOM HOLLERS INTO THE VOID.

TOM
Black and white and red all over!

END MONTAGE.

CUT TO:

INT. PUB - NIGHT

DARREN IS SAT BY HIMSELF. TOM ENTERS, STICK IN HAND.

TOM
(TRIUMPHANTLY)
Is it… a penguin in a blender?

DARREN
Nah, a newspaper.

TOM
Oh.

EMBARRASSED SILENCE.

DARREN
So, why's E.T. got little legs?

Hello. I really like:

TOM
On my own terms, Darren. On my own terms…

That was the biggest laugh for me.

Quote: Norton&Wright @ April 18 2008, 3:37 PM BST

Hello. I really like:

TOM
On my own terms, Darren. On my own terms…

That was the biggest laugh for me.

View original

That was my favourite line too. I only wish the ending were as strong.

For me, you can end it there; the language is very strong.

I'd be tempted to make it more a detective quizzing a suspect. That's the middle, a hard-bitten Noir interrogation, maybe strong light on Darren’s face, Tom trying to crack him and trick him out. Then pretty much the same ending, bring the light back for ET. Bish bosh. Home in time for tea.

Quote: Norton&Wright @ April 18 2008, 4:26 PM BST

For me, you can end it there; the language is very strong.

I'd be tempted to make it more a detective quizzing a suspect. That's the middle, a hard-bitten Noir interrogation, maybe strong light on Darren’s face, Tom trying to crack him and trick him out. Then pretty much the same ending, bring the light back for ET. Bish bosh. Home in time for tea.

View original

I like the interrogation part. I'd go the whole hog and have Tom waterboard him though.

Cheers for the tip.

Okay, here's a new offering. Any better?

INT. PUB – NIGHT

TWO GUYS, DARREN AND TOM, DRINKING AND HAVING A LAUGH.

DARREN
Alright, how about this one? What's black and white and red all over?

TOM
I don't know.

DARREN
A…

TOM
…don't tell me!

THERE'S A LONG SILENCE AS TOM MULLS IT OVER.

DARREN
Do you want to know the answer?

TOM
On my own terms, Darren. On my own terms…

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION CELL – NIGHT

DARREN IS STRAPPED TO A WATERBOARD.

TOM
What's black and white and red all over?!

TOM POURS A BUCKET OF WATER OVER HIS HEAD.

DARREN
(SPLUTERING)
It's just a joke, Tom!

TOM
Answer me! What's black and white and red all over?!

ANOTHER BUCKET.

DARREN
(CRYING)
It's a penguin in a blender! A penguin in a blender!

TOM
Oh. I was thinking newspaper.

TOM HURLS ANOTHER BUCKET.

Far be it from me but...

TOM
I don't know. What's Black and white and red all over?

DARREN
A newspaper.

TOM
Oh.

EMBARRASSED SILENCE.

TOM
Got any other jokes?

Very, very nice.

Maybe:

DARREN
(SPLUTERING)
It's just a joke, Tom!

TOM
Am I laughing, Darren? Answer me! What's black and white and red all over?!

Quote: Norton&Wright @ April 18 2008, 5:12 PM BST

Very, very nice.

Maybe:

DARREN
(SPLUTERING)
It's just a joke, Tom!

TOM
Am I laughing, Darren? Answer me! What's black and white and red all over?!

View original

TOM
I don't know. What's Black and white and red all over?

DARREN
A newspaper.

TOM
Oh.

EMBARRASSED SILENCE.

TOM
Got any other jokes?

I like that ending, then the bucket of water.

An embarrassed silence in that tableau would be dreamy!

Its a nun on her period. Nice sketch.

Hey David, I think the original sketch was far stronger than the interrogation one. Good stuff.

I agree. The first one is perfect!
The second didn't make much sense - Darren had already offered to tell him the answer, so why would Tom have to torture him to get it out of him?

Quote: Matthew Stott @ April 18 2008, 6:00 PM BST

Hey David, I think the original sketch was far stronger than the interrogation one. Good stuff.

View original

You might just be right. I'll keep it on file all the same.

Quote: zooo @ April 18 2008, 6:06 PM BST

I agree. The first one is perfect!
The second didn't make much sense - Darren had already offered to tell him the answer, so why would Tom have to torture him to get it out of him?

View original

I guess Tom just enjoys torture.

Quote: Norton&Wright @ April 18 2008, 5:12 PM BST

Very, very nice.

Maybe:

DARREN
(SPLUTERING)
It's just a joke, Tom!

TOM
Am I laughing, Darren? Answer me! What's black and white and red all over?!

View original

You better believe that's going straight in.

I preferred the first one too.

I do like your sketches David. They always have a fresh angle and a quirkines about them that would certainly keep me watching if they made it to telly.

As for this sketch I liked the original - I;m not sure if I'm allowed to make a suggestion but I think all I would add is, maybe at the end of the sketch, have Tom sigh before getting up from his chair as if heading off on another long quest for the answer to the new joke?

Nice one,

Bo.