Cats Page 2

Look I just feel the need to chip in here, I was just saying I was looking for critique on my original sketch.

Ideas for similar sketches is fine, and I like some of Scootyj's expansions of the sketch, and I KNOW when I read other peoples sketches it inspires ideas in me sometimes.

I agree adjustments to some of my sketches have been very helpul in the past, ir wasn't a critism of suggestions for other sketches it was more the fact we drifted off topic far too quickly. I was just trying to get it back on track, nothing more.. nothing less.

And thank you all for your kind comments.

No worries, and hey you inspired me. And jsut to be a real pain in the arse.

6 View of the world from the cats arse into the kitchen(e.g. it has gone into it's self)
7 A matrix style hall of cats wired into VR machines
8 The final scene of 2001, but with monolith replaced by giant scratch toy shaped like a monolith
9 A vast kitchen with a mouse a size of an elephant
10 A bloodied brick wall, with a firing swuad of mice

Sorry I have major diarhea of the word processor.

Quote: dannyjb1 @ April 10 2008, 11:25 AM BST

Hey you can vote all your like on Sootyj's sketchs and he may even write them, just looking for comments on my original sketch (and not really suggestions for other ideas )

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Agreed, keep to the originals and I have mentioned this in a fair view threads now, Stop making re-writes for peoples sketches, if you want to offer something like that please PM the writer!

It's in the critique rules so there is no excuse, I see repeat offenders I will be giving out warnings.

A suggested follow up, is not a rewrite surely?

You're making suggestions for alternatives to the original, it's to some small extent a re-write. And if people are commenting on your suggestions then it's detracting from the original script.

I will stick to PMing in future.

Cheers Sooty

Like I've mentioned in other threads, I'm aware you're only trying to help.

(arsehole rant over).

I like it, though I have to say, I prefer Sooty's suggestion number 5 as an ending. Accompanied by maudlin string music for the reveal of course.

I wouldn't take Sooty's suggestions as an affront, Danny, just poach the best one and call it your own!

Yes like my famous, Bloke in ancient Palestine suggests we all should be nice to each other, has 12 mates, and ends up nailed to a cross. Some bugger sold it, and Mel Gibson made a film of it (arsehole!)

I do think seriously it's a good skit, but probably done else where, and it's a little obvious.

To beat predictability a little oddness can make things funnier, more noticable, and more off balance.

This is not a suggestion!

Maybe Alistair Darling sticks his head thorugh the cat flap, with ginger fur, and blood smattered all over his face. And snarls send more cats, I'm hungry.

I liked this danny. Could see it with sad, instrumental music playing behind it and pictures of the dead cats on the mantle piece.

Quote: sootyj @ April 11 2008, 12:14 PM BST

Maybe Alistair Darling sticks his head thorugh the cat flap, with ginger fur, and blood smattered all over his face. And snarls send more cats, I'm hungry.

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As for this, I think if you changed Alistair Darling to John Prescott and the granny to Tony Blair that would be funny. IMO.

Does that count as a re write?

Quote: dannyjb1 @ April 10 2008, 8:49 PM BST

Look I just feel the need to chip in here, I was just saying I was looking for critique on my original sketch.

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It has got a bit like this on here. Other suggestions are usually good but take the sketch away from its original place and maybe changes the writer's ideas.

Maybe then - to add my two pennies worth it could be a series of running gags. Starting with Danny's, then they move to different places and keep having "bad luck" with their cats!

I thought the sketch was good.

Quote: wayne lewis @ April 12 2008, 8:06 PM BST

I liked this danny. Could see it with sad, instrumental music playing behind it and pictures of the dead cats on the mantle piece.

As for this, I think if you changed Alistair Darling to John Prescott and the granny to Tony Blair that would be funny. IMO.

Does that count as a re write?

View original

You rewrote my none rewrote, truly I have been hoisted by my own petards (literal translation blown up by my own farts).

Tony and Prsesco are a bit dated.

And besides Darling looks like the kind of guy who'd lurk outside a cat flap, and leap out and eat them. Probably whilst they were alive mewling in terror. At least he looks that way to me.

Nice quickie.

Think you need to work on the reveal a touch though. It seems that, as described it would take a little long and be technically complicated to achieve.