The Wheels of Industry

INT - FLASHY HOUSE - NIGHT

THREE OF THE GIRL APPRENTICE CONTESTANTS ARE SITTING AROUND THE HOUSE HAVING A DRINK AND CHILLING OUT. THEY'RE A BIT THE WORSE FOR DRINK

VOICEOVER:
24 year old Niamh from Dublin is a trainee hedge fund manager.

NIAMH:
I've got what it takes to become Sir Alan's Apprentice. I consider myself the best salesperson in Europe.

GINA:
No you're not! I'm way better than you. I'm the best salesperson in the entire northern hemisphere. Sir Alan would have to be mad not to pick me.

MAGGIE:
No way! My dad right? My dad's better than both your dads put together and he says that I'm the best salesperson in the universe ever ever ever!

NIAMH:
That's nothing. I've got a brother who is probably going to be king of the world and he says that I'm the best thing in selling. I can't be beaten.

MAGGIE:
Well my dad's bigger than your brother and he could take him any day you care to name. So that makes me the best.

GINA:
My dad and his brother, that's my uncle Tony, could take on all your dads and Alan Sugar's dad and those two sidekicks of his dads too.

NIAMH:
Oh yeah? Who says?

MAGGIE:
I say! That's who!

GINA:
No way!

NIAMH:
You're only saying that 'cos you're jealous as I'm the best!

MAGGIE:
You! The best? Who says?

NIAMH:
I say that's who!

GINA:
Oh yeah?

NIAMH:
Yeah!

FADE:

END:

Sorry Blenks, there's nothing there mate.

Hi Blenks

Made me laugh for some reason. I think it's the childish build-up. Seems weak at the end. Would have been funny if Alan Sugar had come in and they'd started going on about their dads and he did too. ("I tell you what, you're fired." "No, Sugar -- my dad'll come down here and fire you!"...)

Dan

Hi Guys.

It's just a take on the would-be big business types with their colossal egos being no more than big kids really and watching them squabbling like infants the other night made me laugh as their pretence of being *serious professionals* was dropped in favour of childish cat-calling and bickering.

Like the end you suggest Dan.

Quote: Blenkinsop @ April 4 2008, 9:44 AM BST

their pretence of being *serious professionals* was dropped in favour of childish cat-calling and bickering.

View original

I know *totally* what you mean, but you have to be careful that the fact that they are parodying themselves already doesn't make your role here completely futile! ie your twist is missing.

Dan

Yeah that's a good point Dan and I think that your Alan Sugar idea gives it a much fuller conclusion and a proper sort of resolution.

I think The Apprentice is quite hard to parody as the characters are so obnoxious to start with. People watch it not because they liek the candidates, but because they are immature and make tits out of themselves. So, while your sketch is well written, I don't see what it adds.

Sorry!