Birds

Does this have potential? There could be more of it, I've thought up plenty more lines, but no point ramming hundreds of words down crits' throats. I've not really tried surreal humour before. Might not again!

(BUSTLING NOISES AS IF IN A PUB. BIRD NOISES IN BACKGROUND)

RAVEN (MALE VOICE):
Yeah, it was a good idea this birds night out.

ROOK:
But where's crow? Was he invited. Ahh, there you are. What kept you?

CROW:
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I thought I'd try a new route. I flew east over Ipswich, then followed the coast to Essex and then took a path along the Thames. I got as far as Greenwich, then I doubled back on myself, headed north, circling the venue before swooping down. I thought I'd get tailwinds the whole way

ROOK:
Jesus. That's a complicated route. I'm surprised you didn't get lost. You should have kept it simple. Straight down following the M11, right in line with the jetstream. It's dead easy, A to B, as the crow. Oh, (PAUSE) Well, how are you? Seeing anyone?

CROW:
Nah, I'm off women, since, you know

RAVEN:
Thrush?

CROW:
Exactly. That hit me hard. You guys?

RAVEN:
Yeah, I'm with robin redbreast

ROOK:
F-ck me? You know Robin's a bloke

RAVEN:
She bloody ain't. She's a well fit bird.

ROOK:
Nah. Bloke. (DRAWN OUT) Robin. The clue's in the name

RAVEN:
No, no, but it's Robin with a y, right? No?

...

Loved the bit about the crow going all over the place as opposed to..well as the crow flies

I saw it as a creature comforts type thing...which I love.

It's funny, and it's got great potential to be even funnier.

Drop the birds night out line, it's funny enough not to need it.

Cheers. I wondered if it needed the birds night out (or similar) to help explain what's going on. At the moment I'm thinking most of my sketches have to be audio only - record with mates and send out digitally...

It's a good idea, but I thought a couple of the jokes were groaners,

The 'robin/robyn' bit was a neat play on words. And there's definitely potential for it to be funnier as Sooty said.

Cheers. Someone I spoke to liked the thrush bit best, whereas I reckon that's one of the groaners you refer to! But if one out of three likes the AtoZ bit, another likes the robin/robyn bit and others like the thrush line it can't be too bad.

To be honest, when I started writing it I thought people might say 'what in god's name is this?!' So nice to know that it definitely has potential.

I was actually meant to be writing stand-up when this idea came. Ho hum.

I liked the thrush one! I felt a little guilty afterwards though!

Btw - quick straw poll. Have people heard of a bird called a wigeon?

That's not a typo.

Yeah I have actually, but I don't think many others have.

I only heard of it because my boss goes shooting and mentioned them once.

That'll do. Family Fortunes survey shows that 100% of people have heard of it.

Yes but it's pretty obscure. N.b. that bird line would work as a line from someone else.

e.g. drunk shouts,

"Oi bloody hate these birds nights out,"

Quote: Barbs @ April 3 2008, 11:09 PM BST

Btw - quick straw poll. Have people heard of a bird called a wigeon?

That's not a typo.

View original

It had been badly shot.
While he was plucking it
he found, he says, the voice box...

...and blew upon it
unexpectedly
his own small wigeon cries.
SEAMUS HEANEY.

Quote: Barbs @ April 3 2008, 11:09 PM BST

Btw - quick straw poll. Have people heard of a bird called a wigeon?

That's not a typo.

View original

I have yeah, but I kind of know my birds.

Keep the 'birds night out' in some context -- I like it and wouldn't lose it. Sets the scene well.

Dan

Thanks guys.

So everyone's heard of a wigeon. Who'd have thought it!