Quote: roscoff @ March 28, 2008, 11:21 PMits doubled up in a situation
that's the bit I suspected was there but didn't see for a while.
Since I'm, maybe, 'average' in perception might I suggest you consider what percentage of people might understand that in a fast media environment?
In fairness, maybe the actual delivery of the lines would actually assist that and I do understand how that is difficult to reproduce in just plain text here.
Regards.
I don't mind if people don't get it. Its fine. In fact to be honest I like the fact some people don't get it. But then explain 'The Argument Sketch' in Monty Pyhton. Not that I'm comparing myself to the great and the good of that bunch but 'not getting it' is sometimes good because at least it gets you thinking about it. And we've discussed a lot about penguins which surely can never be a bad thing! 
Quote: roscoff @ March 29, 2008, 12:01 AMI don't mind if people don't get it. Its fine. In fact to be honest I like the fact some people don't get it. But then explain 'The Argument Sketch' in Monty Pyhton. Not that I'm comparing myself to the great and the good of that bunch but 'not getting it' is sometimes good because at least it gets you thinking about it. And we've discussed a lot about penguins which surely can never be a bad thing!
From what I've read elsewhere, someone is going to love this: Not directly relevant to this thread but quite important to anyone writing a sketch - English and punctuation! Sorry for the interim hijack.
There should be a colon or semi colon between either, ''It and ''Its'' or ''fine'' and ''In''.
There is some debate as to whether, had you used such, a capital letter should have followed the punctuation but in this case, as it would be 'I' in either scenario it becomes irrelevant.
That first ''Its'' needed an apostrophe.
Staring a sneteccewith ''And'' is a colpmete no-no - puinctuation is allabot how people breathe so yuo hav eto tthink how it will be deliverd virbly. The erlier senence starting ''Not'' was also open to contentiun on the grouunds it shuold have been preceded with colon .
The final semi clonon is a mystery!
I like your use of inverted commas/apotsrephes as I use them mysel but frequently disputd bny my language expert frien, They actually mean 'not quite the truth' but I, like you , use then to highlight expressions.
My own use , above, of - and ! are also contensheeeeeee contnetious but I see them as 'expressions'.
debate please the value of punctuation in a written shetch to enable performers to produce the original intention and the value of contentious, inaccurate, punctuation of expression/
Ta and regrads
Quote: thing @ March 29, 2008, 12:49 AMStaring a sneteccewith ''And'' is a colpmete no-no - puinctuation is allabot how people breathe so yuo hav eto tthink how it will be deliverd virbly. The erlier senence starting ''Not'' was also open to contentiun on the grouunds it shuold have been preceded with colon .
Ta and regrads
Ehhh???????///
Oh lordy, it's all too eesy.yep i said eesy.
He's clearly suffered a stroke mid-post.
Ok I've tried to be polite but you want to play rough. Fair enough. The fact that you don't get the sketch marks you down as just teensy-wheensy bit thick. Your punctuation might be smack on but your level of general intelligence is pretty f**king low. So in future I suggest you stay well away from my stuff because it is far and above anything you can comprehend. So in the words of one great philosopher- f**k off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Quote: roscoff @ March 29, 2008, 1:30 AMSo in the words of one great philosopher- f**k off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You've made me afraid of Fozzy now, it's just so wrong 
I know. He just gets cwazy!
Edit: By the way it was your avatar that set me up for this sketch. Love it or hate it. The sketch that is.
Yey, I'm a star!!
Oh yeah, and the sketch made me LOL. It's true though, life is so dull as a penguin - ignore all that glamour you see in Pingu is all just a big exaggeration!
Quote: roscoff @ March 29, 2008, 1:30 AMOk I've tried to be polite but you want to play rough. Fair enough. The fact that you don't get the sketch marks you down as just teensy-wheensy bit thick. Your punctuation might be smack on but your level of general intelligence is pretty f**king low. So in future I suggest you stay well away from my stuff because it is far and above anything you can comprehend. So in the words of one great philosopher- f**k off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, I didn't think that was allowed on here. Not to worry. Actually, my punctuation is far from ''smack on'' as some people love to remind me but that's another story.
Play rough? Who are you kidding? I read the rules about this part of the forum and I understood constructive criticism to be allowed. Too much backslapping goes on in forums like this and I really wanted to offer an honest, neutral opinion so that people (and I have no idea who you are or your aspirations) can move forward.
I couldn't even begin to find the time to write sketches, etc. so I really do appreciate others' efforts. That said, I've been a bit disappointed with what I've read so far through 'Critique'. I don't doubt peoples' intentions but the worst of it boils down to '' A man walked into a shop and the door fell on him, hahahahaha.''
For your original post, the one in question, I really did not fully get it but maybe sort of half got it - sorry if I was slightly dishonest. Maybe I WAS and am quite thick but why do u take it personally? I thought the point I made about how well it might work in a fast media environment was very valid and isn't that what you aspire to?
Please don't intimate threats to me on-line again because my intentions are genuine even if my style might be a bit direct.
Good luck with your writing.
Sorry to club this sketch like a baby seal but I didn't think it was very good. It wasn't funny and it wasn't that original.
Thing I have no probs you writng a critique on my sketch. Loathe it or love it. I draw the line at you writing a sarcastic and just plain bloody rude critique of my response to you which was a genuine reply. You asked it to be explained so I did. I took the time out to do it but what I got back was basically an insult. If you're going to write critique's of peoples work stick to the sketch. That's why they're written.
How about in a second version, she stares at him.
And he says,
"For the last the car broke down,"
"You blew a seal,"
Oldie but worth of resurrection?
Quote: thing @ March 29, 2008, 2:31 AMOh, I didn't think that was allowed on here. Not to worry. Actually, my punctuation is far from ''smack on'' as some people love to remind me but that's another story.
Play rough? Who are you kidding? I read the rules about this part of the forum and I understood constructive criticism to be allowed. Too much backslapping goes on in forums like this and I really wanted to offer an honest, neutral opinion so that people (and I have no idea who you are or your aspirations) can move forward.
I couldn't even begin to find the time to write sketches, etc. so I really do appreciate others' efforts. That said, I've been a bit disappointed with what I've read so far through 'Critique'. I don't doubt peoples' intentions but the worst of it boils down to '' A man walked into a shop and the door fell on him, hahahahaha.''
For your original post, the one in question, I really did not fully get it but maybe sort of half got it - sorry if I was slightly dishonest. Maybe I WAS and am quite thick but why do u take it personally? I thought the point I made about how well it might work in a fast media environment was very valid and isn't that what you aspire to?
Please don't intimate threats to me on-line again because my intentions are genuine even if my style might be a bit direct.
Good luck with your writing.
A lot to go over here...
1. Sort your own spelling out before correcting others maybe?
2. Sarcasm isn't "Constructive criticism".
3. As for "Backslapping", Adams post just after yours was a negative opinion on the sketch in question... And we also have talented writers on the forum, what can I say? 
And sorry we haven't impressed you so far, maybe you could post some of your sketches or sitcoms?
Good day
Quote: roscoff @ March 29, 2008, 1:30 AMOk I've tried to be polite but you want to play rough. Fair enough. The fact that you don't get the sketch marks you down as just teensy-wheensy bit thick. Your punctuation might be smack on but your level of general intelligence is pretty f**king low. So in future I suggest you stay well away from my stuff because it is far and above anything you can comprehend. So in the words of one great philosopher- f**k off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take it easy Roscoff, no need for it dude. Lets just stick on the topic of why you started this thread.
PS - while I'm here it wasn't my cup of tea mate, might work if it was two guys in suits