Are We There Yet

INT. - BEDROOM – NIGHT

TOM and HANNAH in bed together, Tom's reading a gadget instruction manual as Hannah snuggles up to him.

HANNAH
Mmmmmmmm, you have such cute earlobes, I just want to nibble on them.

He pushes her away mid-nibble.

TOM
Stop it will you, I'm trying to work this thing out?

He continues reading the manual until she begins planting kisses on his neck.

TOM
Look, will you give it a rest please?

He starts pushing buttons on the gadget.

(Pause)

Hannah shuffles down the bed and mischievously slips her hand under the duvet.

TOM
Come on now please, this is to do with my work.

HANNAH
(peeved and sitting up now)
What is that bloody thing anyway?

TOM
It's my new Sat Nav system, you tap in a location and it shows you how to find it.

HANNAH
(sarcastically)
Oh really? Well how about aiming it towards Clitoris Way then?

A decent reconstruction on an old joke.

Yeah it's well clichéd but with a new technology spin to it, I suppose.

I also wasn't sure if Clitoris Way was the best sounding option or to replace Way with any of Avenue, Boulevard, Lane or Street.

Clitoris Close has a nice ring to it.

Yey it was good. Even better if she had programmed it in and that annoying little voice had said "Turn left, go under the duvet, take the slip rd north, enter the tunnel at full speed. Keep going straight until arrival.

Yeah that's quite good Charley.......and maybe even a warning about slippery surfaces?

Good one although I think you could even have stretched it out a bit. The climax was a bit premature.

I did have it longer originally but maybe sometimes go on for longer than is best, so thought I'd bail out early.........a case of premature evacuation if you like.

For me it's just a tired old gag about men not knowing where the clit is, one which belongs in a Jo Brand sketch. After Tom's last line, hers was incredibly predictable; as such, it needs to be changed with a more modern, subtle - or alternatively, completely surreal - spin.

Yeah I agree to a certain extent Stu that the basic joke itself is nothing unusual, the clitoris location part that is, but it was also hopefully meant to also take into account that boys like their toys and gadgets, even though that is a cliché too and the Sat Nav part was a modern spin on that......and basically, aren't nearly all jokes some form of cliché or stereotyping?

For example how many women still play with Barbie dolls? Yet loads of grown men still love things like model trains, Marvel comic figures, Scalectrix and now Playstations and the X-box?

So her can't find the clitoris line of thought, wasn't meant to be something that caused a belly laugh, it was more a case of (to me anyway) finding it amusing when people have to resort to that stroppy kind of thing when they don't get their own way.

Also in a lot of filmed sketches it's little visual things in the performance that can add to it too.

Quote: imamazed @ April 3, 2007, 12:24 AM

......and basically, aren't nearly all jokes some form of cliché or stereotyping?

View original

Errr on ITV maybe.

LOL well I did say nearly all ShoePie.

Besides, you can have positive clichés and stereotyping too can't you?................er, I just can't really think of any though, that's all!

So imamazed are you going to keep posting old jokes until we don't recognise one and think your funny? I really don't mean to be harsh here but Slag has mentioned it before this place is for people posting their own original material and there is a lot of competition for comments and space etc. I try to go through them when I have spare time but finding old reheated jokes isn't my idea of a laugh and a general waste of my time.

i think this idea is good, it is a old joke but it does need a twist to take it away from that old joke, i like charleys suggestions, i think you know that this needs a bit of work to take it away from the old used joke but it can be easily done.

I love it when some starts a sentence with the word so.

So paul watson, do you really think that I was imagining that nobody else on here had ever heard the cliché about men supposedly (notice the use of supposedly) not being able to find the clitoris? So one thing I do find amusing is your "Keep posting old jokes until we don't recognise one" comment.

As I said above, it's the circumstances with the Sat Nav and boys and their toys that play just as important a part in this scenario as does the sarcastic clitoris remark and the female getting the hump bit.

I put a previous sketch on here that revolved around the punchline "Somebody’s pissed in the lift" which is a play on words that has two meanings, as in somebody HAS or somebody IS pissed in the lift, so because there are old jokes such as:

A little boy gets lost in Tesco's and the security guard asks him "What’s your Mummy like?" and the boy replies "Big Dicks and Vodka"

does that mean we can't do a joke that uses a play on words or drinking jokes anymore? Sexual related and the general male/female relationship type of humour is probably the most often used kind and if you were to take down every posting on here that was linked to that, just about all you'd have left would be everybody's introductions.

Oh and by the way, if I had put that Tesco's joke up and tried to pass it off as an original then I think you would have a valid point.

I also really don't mean to be harsh but when I read you repeating something that someone has already said in a thread, finding old reheated comments isn't my idea of a laugh and is a general waste of my time too.

Yeah I can see what you are getting at lewis and I also liked charley’s additions and although I think there is nothing wrong with them, her suggestions still contain the two basic parts of the joke, being the gadget obsessed male angle and the locating the clitoris side of things.

For that reason any downsides about it being an old joke would surely also apply there too. I personally think what saves it from that is the use of the modern technology spin part of it, against a well known theme and charley adds more to it by expanding the descriptive part of the Sat Nav workings angle.

David did mention in my version that the punchline came too soon and maybe I could have milked a bit more out of it, but from previous stuff I've put up on here most of the advice was that it was overwritten or along the lines of throw out anything that is just padding, so I’ve tried to take this advice onboard.

(enters cutting atmostphere with his swiss army) Ahem... It's an old gag with a modern spin and if every idea was 100% original then there would have never been a police academy 6 and can you imagine the fun we could have missed?