Martial arts sketch

INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DAY

MARTIAL ARTISTS EXCHANGE BLOWS. FIGHTER 1 PULLS A KNIFE. LUNGES. COMES AWAY WITH A STREAK OF BLOOD ON HIS BLADE.

HIS OPPONENT (FIGHTER 2) LOOKS DOWN TO SEE A GASH ACROSS HIS TORSO. HE GRIMACES.

FIGHTER 1 LICKS HIS BLADE.

FIGHTER 1:
That's foul!

FIGHTER 2:
Yeah, what were you thinking?

FIGHTER 1:
I don't know, it's just what you do, isn't it?

FIGHTER 2:
I could have anything.

FIGHTER 1:
What do you mean? You're not gay are you?

FIGHTER 2:
Not anymore.

FIGHTER 1:
Jesus! Have you been tested?

FIGHTER 2:
Nah.

FIGHTER 1:
Why not?

FIGHTER 2:
Too busy with my narcotics anonymous group.

FIGHTER 1 PULLS A FACE AND SPITS.

FIGHTER 2:
(LAUGHING)
I'm kidding!

FIGHTER 1 JOINS IN LAUGHING.

FIGHTER 2 ROUNDKICKS HIS HEAD OFF.

Nice ending. I've got the picture in my head though I'm not sure I want to!

Not one of your best tbh, but nonetheless still a good sketch.
How would you film this though?
And did you mean 'lunges', not 'lunches' (unless there was a short break in proceedings)?

Quote: ian_w @ March 27, 2008, 1:12 PM

Not one of your best tbh, but nonetheless still a good sketch.
How would you film this though?
And did you mean 'lunges', not 'lunches' (unless there was a short break in proceedings)?

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Lunches? How utterly idiotic of me. You can tell where my mind was though.

How would I film it? Get two guys with their tops off to go at each other. Doesn't have to be a warehouse - that was just the most cliched arena for a kung-fu fight that came to me. As for the kicking off of the head, I was thinking something like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cScJZqKpMq4

Quote: David Bussell @ March 27, 2008, 1:19 PM

Lunches? How utterly idiotic of me. You can tell where my mind was though.

View original

How would I film it? Get two guys with their tops off to go at each other. Doesn't have to be a warehouse - that was just the most cliched arena for a kung-fu fight that came to me. As for the kicking off of the head, I was thinking something like this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cScJZqKpMq4

Ah, I see! Yeah, it was the head-kicking-off thing I was wondering about.
Then again, maybe I shouldn't have assumed you were planning on filming it?

The ending was very good and classic Bussell, but I thought the lead up wasn't quite as funny as it could have been.

The whole blood licking was good, but the actual dialogue seemed a little clunky.

Quote: Winterlight @ March 28, 2008, 12:00 PM

The ending was very good and classic Bussell, but I thought the lead up wasn't quite as funny as it could have been.

The whole blood licking was good, but the actual dialogue seemed a little clunky.

View original

Yeah, I think you're right about the dialogue on a second reading. I'll have to go back to it, I still like the premise.