INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
MOURNERS PAY RESPECT AT A CLOSED CASKET.
SUDDENLY THE LID POPS OPEN AND A NAKED WOMAN SPRINGS OUT.
THE MOURNERS GASP IN HORROR.
STRIPPER:
Tough crowd.
INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
MOURNERS PAY RESPECT AT A CLOSED CASKET.
SUDDENLY THE LID POPS OPEN AND A NAKED WOMAN SPRINGS OUT.
THE MOURNERS GASP IN HORROR.
STRIPPER:
Tough crowd.
I needed that...it made vimto come out my nose..well done.
very short but very funny
Quote: Reiss Ellesse @ March 27, 2008, 3:12 PMI needed that...it made vimto come out my nose..well done.
very short but very funny
And don't tell me, you haven't had vimto in weeks!
well when i say Vimto it was actually absinth...but dont
tell the nurse...no the short sketch made me chuckle...
i keep on flicking too and from the site as im writing
some stuff on me puter
Excellent, the start of a great runner
The problem is that apart from the scriptnote that she's a stripper, how are the audience to know that she's a stripper? Maybe stripping music is needed.
Perhaps start the sketch with a woman stripping to 'stripping music' and then pull away to reveal she's doing it at a funeral wake. A grieving relative could be crying into the strippers g-string which has just been tossed into the crowd.
That's my two cents. And if you need any 'stripping music' just let me know.
Brilliant
@ Winterlight
I think if she's dressed in skimpy clothing and holds a certain pose it should be clear enough.
If she's in skimpy clothing then it works, but the script says she's naked.
Quote: Winterlight @ March 28, 2008, 11:54 AMThe problem is that apart from the scriptnote that she's a stripper, how are the audience to know that she's a stripper? Maybe stripping music is needed.
Perhaps start the sketch with a woman stripping to 'stripping music' and then pull away to reveal she's doing it at a funeral wake. A grieving relative could be crying into the strippers g-string which has just been tossed into the crowd.
That's my two cents. And if you need any 'stripping music' just let me know.
You're right - she should be wearing something skimpy. Writing 'naked woman' was just too tempting.
You have stripper music? Should I ask why?
I think it's good as it was. It's just "Stripper" that needs changing to Naked Woman. It's already been explained that she is.
Is she going to pop out of all sorts of things?
LOl, loved it!