British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,874

Cos Mikel Arteta told him not too??

Wtf are you prattling on about now you melon 🤪

This just in - Risihi Sunak decided to scrap the Northern leg of HS2 because he's a Southampton supporter

Quote: lofthouse @ 28th November 2024, 6:07 PM

Cos Mikel Arteta told him not too??

Wtf are you prattling on about now you melon 🤪

Because they have Visit Rwanda on their shirts.

I am aware

😐

Anyhoo turns out Greg Wallace is a dirty bald f**ker

"Wallace is also said to have once walked into the MasterChef studio "completely naked except for sock pulled over his penis"

Quote: Chappers @ 28th November 2024, 5:38 PM

Show me the "proof" then. Where have they sent them?

It's businesses that are screaming.

But why did they object to the Tories plans to send them to Rwanda? Starmer is supposed to be an Arsenal supporter.

Businesses are run by people.

And the Rwanda Scheme was meant to send 'everyone' to Rwanda and have them processed there.
The Labour govt are doing what the Tories failed to do and processing here - then deporting those who have their claims rejected.
The Tories created the backlog for political purposes.
They're not the good guys.

Tories - party first always , country second, always

Transport secretary resigns after being revealed as a convicted criminal.

Phonegate.

It seems like Starmer's entire government is full of compulsive liars.
If they can lie on their CV, mislead about their expenses and donors and lie to the police, you better believe they are lying to you.

Quote: Lazzard @ 28th November 2024, 10:35 AM

I Also, Brexit related, funny how those who claimed that "immigrants pushing wages down" was one of the main *reasons* for voting Leave, are now screaming like scalded cats about the Minimum Wage going up.

I don't think they are. Business owners are complaining about the minimum wage going up, the same ones who benefited from the flood of immigrants pushing wages down, so they've gained from the catastrophe of mass immigration, not the average British born employee, who's been hammered by wage regression, loss of job prospects, rise in housing costs, lack of available housing, longer waiting lists for urgent medical care all because nearly a million new immigrants are entering Britain every year.

Remember it was only 20 years ago when it was in the tens of thousands. Labour and the EU are to blame for all of it because the rest of the world saw how many millions of Europeans were being given homes and jobs here and decided they wanted the same, entitled to it or not. The only solution was Brexit, had we stayed in, the number of those coming in every year would be double what it is now. The free movement agreement was the instigator for it, the most damaging thing since WW2. The whole world saw it as the UK was a pushover who lets everyone in, so still they come.

Asked by Sky News whether his fellow Reform MP previously being jailed for repeatedly kicking his girlfriend, and then subsequently lying to voters about it, should be grounds for his expulsion from the party, Nigel Farage replies that "I've got a million followers on TikTok" and storms off

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 29th November 2024, 8:26 AM

I don't think they are. Business owners are complaining about the minimum wage going up, the same ones who benefited from the flood of immigrants pushing wages down

So did consumers. Higher wages invariably have to be passed onto the consumer, ie. the British people. So lower wages arguably helped keep the cost of goods and services down.

Immigration isn't as simple an black and white issue as you make out, Kipper.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 29th November 2024, 8:22 AM

Phonegate.

It seems like Starmer's entire government is full of compulsive liars.
If they can lie on their CV, mislead about their expenses and donors and lie to the police, you better believe they are lying to you.

She should have jumped ship to Reform, like Andrea Jenkins.
Over there you can knock your missus about and no-one bats an eye-lid.

Quote: Chappers @ 28th November 2024, 5:38 PM

Show me the "proof" then. Where have they sent them?

Sorry. missed this part of your post.

"Altogether, more than 25 bespoke returns flights have taken place since July 5th, returning individuals to a range of countries including Albania, Poland, Romania and Vietnam, plus the first ever charter to Timor-Leste, and the biggest ever returns flight to Nigeria and Ghana."

Actually getting stuff done, as opposed to making up gimmicks just to try and win back reform voters and pissing away billions of pounds of tax payers money down the shitter into the bargain.....

"Britain and Iraq have agreed an unprecedented joint plan to tackle people smuggling gangs responsible for thousands of migrants crossing the Channel in small boats.

On a three-day visit to the country, Home Secretary Yvette Cooper also signed a new agreement to ensure failed Iraqi asylum seekers are returned home more "swiftly".

She met ministers from the federal government in Baghdad and regional leaders in Kurdistan in the north where many smuggling gangs are based.

The agreement will involve greater intelligence sharing and more joint law enforcement operations, all designed to increase the number of smugglers that are prosecuted"

So refreshing not having buffoons like Suella braverman arsing about and doing nothing anymore

A very good - and particularly perceptive - article from the Telegraph today:

A pattern has emerged when it comes to what Sir Keir Starmer does and doesn't know about the organisations he is heading.

As director of public prosecutions, Sir Keir always seemed to be kept in the dark whenever his senior staff were handling a particularly hot potato.

He was never told about investigations into Jimmy Savile or Mohamed Fayed, for example. New evidence that came to light about Andrew Malkinson, wrongly convicted of rape, "never crossed his desk", we are told. He was "not aware" that the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) was wrongly prosecuting postmasters under his watch.

Now it turns out that his knack of being ignorant of important information has followed him into politics.

When Louise Haigh was appointed by him as Transport Secretary, she did not disclose the full truth about her previous criminal conviction, Downing Street sources have said. Once again, Sir Keir is telling us that he can't be blamed for what happens within an organisation he heads - in this case the Government - because he wasn't provided with crucial information.

Sir Keir might feel he has been let down by the people around him failing to give him the information he needs, or he may argue that he cannot know what everyone in a large organisation such as the CPS or the Government is up to.

But there is a second element to the pattern of his career: Sir Keir as the hero of the hour whenever there is a triumph to be claimed.

According to his official biography on the Labour Party website, Sir Keir is the man who oversaw the first ever UK prosecution of al-Qaeda terrorists; secured the successful retrial of terrorists involved in a suicide bombing plot; prosecuted MPs for fiddling their expenses and brought the killers of Stephen Lawrence to justice.

Lest there be any doubt about his ability to get involved in case work or remember things that happened years ago, Sir Keir said this week that when it came to assisted dying, he "looked at every single case for five years that was ever investigated".

As Oscar Wilde might have said, to be unaware of one scandal brewing under one's nose might be regarded as misfortune, but to be unaware of several starts to look like carelessness.

Assisted. Dying Bill passed.
Best behaviour from now on, guys.

It's way way off becoming a reality yet

It's about time though

Keeping someone alive who is in absolute misery against their will is cruel

How f**king dare politicians say to these people - nope, we're gonna hook you up to machines and pump you full of chemicals and you're just going to grin and bare it

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