British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,836

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 26th August 2024, 8:56 AM

I'm glad the Notting Hill carnival was 'mostly peaceful.
Only 3 stabbings and 90 arrests and 15 police injured.
Only 18 arrested with knives and 10 emergency workers assaulted.
No need to fast-track these mostly peaceful people to jail.

EDIT - 8 stabbings, 334 arrests, 50 police injured, 40 emergency workers assaulted, dozens of knives and three guns recovered. But look for these figures now on line and they're suddenly hard to find, and have completely vanished from the BBC News website. They must have 'two tier Keir' fear.
RE-EDIT - I found the item on the Beeb website but it's been hidden from the front page.

Quote: Lazzard @ 27th August 2024, 11:43 AM

And as for Macmillan - never trust a Tory!

Rose tinted bollocks again - EVERY (I'll use caps as you are averse to bold text) f**ker was useless from then on and shagged this country. It's the politicians that have dragged this country into the gutter, and I understand that now we have the totally un democratic civil servants sticking their collective oars in.

Jesus, what a f**king mess

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 27th August 2024, 12:01 PM

The economy is nowhere near f**ked, ?

It's had it's trousers pulled down , been bent over - and been right royally f**ked senseless

"The UK's national debt has reached its highest level since 1962, according to new official figures.
The total stock of government debt was worth 99.5% of the value of the economy in June, exceeding the highs reached during the coronavirus pandemic for the first time.

The Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Darren Jones, said the latest figures were a "clear reminder" of the "worst economic inheritance" since the Second World War."

P.s. despite all this , it's a fact written in black and white that if Sunak had won he was going to renew his multi million pound helicopter and private jet contracts - and we wonder why it's so f**ked with dick heads like him in charge pissing OUR money up the wall

Of course the opposition (as it was then) would have been fully aware of the alleged state of the economy (or should have been if they were doing their job). Yet not brave or confident enough to include any of their now proposed measures in their manifesto.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 27th August 2024, 12:01 PM

😮 Semolina pilchard?

Of its time. You had to be there. Certainly better than more recent offerings such as:

I don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast or

I am, I said, to no one there. And no one heard at all, not even the chair

So how can Starmer afford the massive public sector pay rises? Surely giving out 22.5% pay increases with the economy in such a state makes this govt the most irresponsible UK govt in history!!! Even for a labour one.

Well this leftie government is prepared to surrender to the Ruskies by refusing to invest in our Armed Forces.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 27th August 2024, 12:52 PM

I don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast

Because I just googled it and got a shock, I'm sorry to inform everyone that song is already 26 years old.

Liz Truss considered scrapping all cancer treatment on the NHS in a desperate bid to repair the damage caused by her disastrous economic policies, according to a new book.

The extraordinary claim is made in a new biography of Ms Truss by Sir Anthony Seldon.

Sir Anthony says a group of Ms Truss's Tory aides met to discuss the issue. One of her senior advisers, Alex Boyd, "was told that Truss and Kwarteng were thinking they could still sort out the black hole with severe cuts": "We've been told that they're looking at stopping cancer treatment on the NHS."

Mr Boyd's response was to ask "Is she being serious?" writes Sir Anthony, while other aides said she had "lost the plot".

I see Starmer made his statement from the Rose Garden.

He never promised us one of those in his manifesto either.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 27th August 2024, 6:04 PM

I see Starmer made his statement from the Rose Garden.

He never promised us one of those in his manifesto either.

And he didn't hold an illegal lock down party in that garden either

Unlike Johnson and his cronies - who had several

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 27th August 2024, 6:04 PM

I see Starmer made his statement from the Rose Garden.

He never promised us one of those in his manifesto either.

I beg your pardon?

Quote: Chappers @ 27th August 2024, 7:17 PM

I beg your pardon?

I'm glad someone's on the same wavelength as me.

Quote: Chappers @ 27th August 2024, 1:42 PM

Well this leftie government is prepared to surrender to the Ruskies by refusing to invest in our Armed Forces.

It's not 1983.

It's a catchy mantra he's pushing.
Things will only get worse before they get even worser.

I prefer it to "Oven Ready Deal" and 40 new hospitals.

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