British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,835

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 26th August 2024, 12:57 PM

I don't understand 'to be fair.
Implying it's ok because there were a lot of people.
You can talk down to me all you like and be as pompous as you want
Your first instinct was to excuse it.

And your first instinct was to bring it up.
I can't imagne why.

So much for celebration - I wouldn't go within a 10 mile radius of the fiasco

What's all the fuss with the big announcement at 08;00.
Is there a new flavour coming out?

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So, in yesterday's news, according to our current great Pink leader, let's revive Bliar's Labour mantra from 1997:

All together now.............

🎶"Things, can only get worser..........."🎵

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 27th August 2024, 8:47 AM

So, in yesterday's news, according to our current great Pink leader, let's revive Bliar's Labour mantra from 1997:

All together now.............

🎶"Things, can only get worser..........."🎵

Just thought of a second line for my revived song, which I might release as a joke single - all I'll need then is the OK from Brian Cox

🎶 Now I'll tax you and you and you and you...........🎵

It's getting there..............

Yep well someone has got to clean up the mess of the last bunch of idiots who wasted billions of pounds of tax payers money like the world was about to end

Only buffoons would blame the current government of weeks - rather than the wasteful bastards who mismanaged the economy for 14 years

Yep it's Starmer - not f**king Truss and her idiot mates

"The prime minister has scrapped a government helicopter contract - thought to be worth £40m.
Rishi Sunak was criticised for his use of helicopters during his time in No 10.
The contract was set to be renewed, but is now being scrapped by Downing Street and the Ministry of Defence.
It is designed to illustrate a break with the previous administration - ahead of a speech in which the prime minister will argue things will not be "business as usual" when parliament returns next week.
Rishi Sunak used RAF jets and helicopters for domestic flights more frequently than the UK's previous three prime ministers, a BBC investigation found in 2023.
Speaking about the cancellation, a Labour source said that the "Tories' VIP helicopter service" was a "grossly wasteful" symbol of their government that was "totally out of touch with the problems facing the rest of the country".
"It's only right that this service is brought to an end," the source added, claiming that the government is "getting a grip of the public finances."
They said: "It tells you everything that, on top of the £22 billion black hole that the Tories were blowing in the public finances, Rishi Sunak's priority was keeping his VIP helicopter service.
"The Conservatives left behind an unforgivable inheritance. This is just one step towards showing the British people that, with Labour, they have a government that will deliver on our promise of change, and fix the foundations of our economy."

Cleaning up the almighty mess left by incompetent f**king morons

Oh dear, I think I've upset someone............he does like to rant 😂

If you're not upset by the state this Nation has been allowed to get into - then you're not really paying attention.

You may find it funny the country is economically f**ked - I think its scandalous

Quote: Lazzard @ 27th August 2024, 11:13 AM

If you're not upset by the state this Nation has been allowed to get into - then you're not really paying attention.

As always - the holier than thou statement, apart from which, this country was f**ked and went downhill the moment Macmillan said "You've never had it so good"

If you drive a car,
I'll tax the street
If you try to sit,
I'll tax your seat
If you get too cold,
I'll tax the heat
If you take a walk,
I'll tax your feet.
'cause I'm the taxman,
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 27th August 2024, 11:33 AM

If you drive a car,
I'll tax the street
If you try to sit,
I'll tax your seat
If you get too cold,
I'll tax the heat
If you take a walk,
I'll tax your feet.
'cause I'm the taxman,
Yeah, I'm the taxman

The Beatles did alright.
And I think we're a way off 95% SuperTax.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 27th August 2024, 11:24 AM

As always - the holier than thou statement, apart from which, this country was f**ked and went downhill the moment Macmillan said "You've never had it so good"

Not so much "holier than thou" as "more observant than thou".
And as for Macmillan - never trust a Tory!

It may be a bit off topic (and sacrilege) but I've always thought the Beatles were a bit mediocre when it came to lyrics.

Quote: chipolata @ 27th August 2024, 11:48 AM

It may be a bit off topic (and sacrilege) but I've always thought the Beatles were a bit mediocre when it came to lyrics.

Yes, definitely off topic. This is "I read the news today..." You should have posted that in 1970.

The economy is nowhere near f**ked, if it is how can the govt. afford the biggest ever round of public sector pay rises? Starmer and co. are just excessively political in everything they do, blame blame blame in order to justify their traditional spend spend spend, usually on their public sector mates who have decent protected pensions unlike almost everyone else.

Quote: chipolata @ 27th August 2024, 11:48 AM

It may be a bit off topic (and sacrilege) but I've always thought the Beatles were a bit mediocre when it came to lyrics.

😮 Semolina pilchard?

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