a plate
Friday 8th March 2024 9:01pm
809 posts
TWO BUSINESSMEN ARE AT A SEASIDE TOWN
BARRY: What a pleasant day we're having at the seaside! It reminds me of bank holidays as a youngster. Look, all the roads slope downwards, and there are those little triangular flags everywhere.
JIM: Bunting.
BARRY: We should purchase a bucket...
JIM: arrrgghh...
BARRY: And a spade, Jim. I wouldn't forget THAT tool!
JIM: No. This isn't one of those amusing Harbio adverts or whatever. We are only at the seaside for work purposes.
BARRY: Ooh, ooh, work purposes, work purposes..! Let's have some fun, Jim, for Christ's sake. Look, there's one of those delightful little shops on the corner. We could get a bucket...
JIM: arrgghh...
BARRY: And a spade, Jim. I wouldn't forget THAT tool!
JIM: Look, we may as well get something to eat. There's an hour to kill before the meeting.
BARRY: Ooh, yes, yes! We could get some chips! Yes, that's right, some chips! Although some sneaky flying beasts might try and take such potatoes.
JIM: (CONFUSED BY BARRY'S BOLLOCKS) What?!
BARRY: You heard, Jim. You heard. Look, there's a chip shop, conveniently located next to that plastic bucket shop that you're always on about.
JIM: Me?! You were the one that mentioned the bucket shop...
BARRY: And spade, Jim. I wouldn't forget THAT tool!
JIM: Let's get some chips, then. We can share a big one.
BARRY: Share a big one?! What, one chip?! The two of us, munching on one big chip?! Do you even listen to yourself, you devil worshipper?!
JIM: I'm f**ken sick of this. Wait here. (GOES INTO CHIP SHOP, AND MOMENTS LATER COMES OUTSIDE WITH A BIG BAG OF CHIPS)
BARRY: Look out, Jim!
A BIG SEAGULL SWOOPS DOWN AND STRIKES JIM, KILLING HIM.
SEAGULL FLIES OFF WITH THE CHIPS, LEAVING JIM'S BLOODIED CORPSE ON THE GROUND
FADE TO BLACK.
NEW SCENE: BARRY IS DRAGGING JIM'S CORPSE TO THE BEACH
BARRY HOLDS UP A PLASTIC BUCKET, PAUSES, THEN HOLDS UP A SPADE.
BARRY: I wouldn't forget THAT tool...
BARRY SOBS AS HE BURIES HIS COLLEAGUE IN THE SAND USING THE PLASTIC BUCKET AND SPADE