British Comedy Guide

Job interviews

I've been laughing ironically at Facebook recently - with people asking for jobs on local pages.

Something like 'Any jobs going, it must fit around school times and I can't do Wednesdays. PM me with job offers.

Whatever happened to writing to a company (or emailing) to apply or enquire about vacancies - attaching a CV and waiting in anticipation for a reply.

I went to some weird interviews in my time.
The one for Farnell (A huge electronic component supplier) as a technical rep tops them all.
The job was to help customers to chose the best or correct electronic components for their needs.
A job I could probably do in my sleep.

In the interview room, there were 5 people. each greeted me with a handshake then wrote something down on a form they were holding.
The main interviewer told me that one was a professor of psychology, another a body language expert and so on down the line.
They were all sat in a semi-circle around me watching and writing intently.

During this intimidating affair, The interviewer told me we were going to roll play. (inside my head, f**king roll play?)
'I'm a customer phoning from the Outer Hebrides, I have an electronic component I need replacing but I don't know what it is - I need you to identify what it is and send a new one to me.
He then said 'ring ring and I replied 'hello Farnell Electronics, how may I help you? That met with shaking heads and looks of disapproval
There was awkward silence then he said ring ring again, but this time, all 5 held their right hand to the side of their heads with the thumb up and little finger out to mimic the handset of a phone.
I had to talk to him like this throughout the question and answer session.

At the end of the interview, I expected they would say something like 'We'll let you know.
They actually said 'If you are successful you will be invited to a 2nd interview with the other successful candidates.

Any other great job interview tales?

I went to one when I was young and arrogant (as opposed to old and arrogant as I am now), argued with the interviewer and stormed out - into a walk-in cupboard! I emerged to gales of laughter. Perhaps I should have pretended I'd visited Narnia...

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 7th September 2023, 9:10 AM

I've been laughing ironically at Facebook recently - with people asking for jobs on local pages.

Something like 'Any jobs going, it must fit around school times and I can't do Wednesdays. PM me with job offers.

Doesn't show commitment does it ? A factor of high employment, I guess. I had one candidate not show up, so I called him and he said "I'll have to take two busses to get there, that's over half an hour !" Another told me " I lost my job because I punched my boss - he was a twat - can I go now ?" He only came to keep his jobseekers payments going.

Quote: beaky @ 7th September 2023, 10:25 AM

I went to one when I was young and arrogant (as opposed to old and arrogant as I am now), argued with the interviewer and stormed out - into a walk-in cupboard! I emerged to gales of laughter. Perhaps I should have pretended I'd visited Narnia...

Is that your "coming out of the closet story" Beaky ?

I hate job interviews - especially if it's a technical interview and they try to stump you with ridiculously difficult questions.

I haven't had much of an interview for my last three jobs; the boss called, and asked how much I wanted to be paid, then said, "Welcome aboard!"

Yesterday, a recruiter called and told me I had perfect qualifications for a position they were trying to fill. "I would hope so since I'm already employed there", was my reply.

In my first office job the office manager would make me greet the candidates as they all arrived - and I was to write down on a pad ratings for all the females

I.e. face, tits, arse, legs

Dirty ole f**ker! 🤣

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 7th September 2023, 9:10 AM

I've been laughing ironically at Facebook recently - with people asking for jobs on local pages.

Something like 'Any jobs going, it must fit around school times and I can't do Wednesdays. PM me with job offers.

Whatever happened to writing to a company (or emailing) to apply or enquire about vacancies - attaching a CV and waiting in anticipation for a reply.

I went to some weird interviews in my time.
The one for Farnell (A huge electronic component supplier) as a technical rep tops them all.
The job was to help customers to chose the best or correct electronic components for their needs.
A job I could probably do in my sleep.

In the interview room, there were 5 people. each greeted me with a handshake then wrote something down on a form they were holding.
The main interviewer told me that one was a professor of psychology, another a body language expert and so on down the line.
They were all sat in a semi-circle around me watching and writing intently.

During this intimidating affair, The interviewer told me we were going to roll play. (inside my head, f**king roll play?)
'I'm a customer phoning from the Outer Hebrides, I have an electronic component I need replacing but I don't know what it is - I need you to identify what it is and send a new one to me.
He then said 'ring ring and I replied 'hello Farnell Electronics, how may I help you? That met with shaking heads and looks of disapproval
There was awkward silence then he said ring ring again, but this time, all 5 held their right hand to the side of their heads with the thumb up and little finger out to mimic the handset of a phone.
I had to talk to him like this throughout the question and answer session.

At the end of the interview, I expected they would say something like 'We'll let you know.
They actually said 'If you are successful you will be invited to a 2nd interview with the other successful candidates.

Any other great job interview tales?

Did they ring you back like that?

Quote: DaButt @ 7th September 2023, 3:33 PM

.......
..... Yesterday, a recruiter called and told me I had perfect qualifications for a position they were trying to fill. "I would hope so since I'm already employed there", was my reply.

Nice one.
They get around 20% + of the first years salary for a placement in the UK. You'd expect them to do a bit of Googling for that ! They're probably fishing.

Excuse my grammar. Just read it back and blushed at 'roll for role. It's dyslexia you know.

Quote: Firkin @ 7th September 2023, 4:26 PM

They get around 20% + of the first years salary for a placement in the UK. You'd expect them to do a bit of Googling for that ! They're probably fishing.

No, it's a legit recruiter hired by my employer because they're having a difficult time finding qualified applicants with the proper security clearance and industry certifications. The job pays $120k per year, so the recruiter will pocket a decent chunk of cash if he signs someone up for the position.

He found me via an online resume, so I can't blame him for not knowing that I was already working for the company. I just updated my resume to prevent future calls/texts/emails; a former coworker says he gets approached monthly.

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