British Comedy Guide

BCG Fantasy Premier League 2023/24 Page 11

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 2nd September 2023, 1:15 AM

West Ham Luton didn't affect the table(s) much

JWP superb so far and great value at 6 flat.

I see the '2' teamers have been expunged.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 1st September 2023, 9:02 AM

Reminds me of the NTNOCN "old chestnut" sketch - the scene is a Swedish chemist, with Mel behind the counter. Enter Rowan as customer....(you have to read this with a Scandinavian accent) :-

Rowan "I'd like a deodorant please"
Mel "Aerosol or ball?"
Rowan "No, I want it for under my arms"

To be fair this thread is often more like a dead Hedgehog
Spikey with a whiff of decay

Sorry about that - I'll put a fresh pair of Y-fronts on tomorrow.

Image
Quote: Feeoree @ 26th August 2023, 11:47 AM

So last week I had an abysmal 16 points total.

You must have been Fiori-ous.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 2nd September 2023, 9:18 AM

I see the '2' teamers have been expunged.

Yes well Radish hardly needed another team after the start he's off to with this one. He's still not PMable so he's destined just to look good even if he does carry the form through to the end this time. What we do know now is he reads this thread, so there's still hope he'll come back and post. Hi Horse, great gameweek.

Didn't gain much with that wildcard, in fact lost ground on most but I wouldn't say it was wasted, cleared out a few non starters when a few other teams are still carrying some.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 3rd September 2023, 8:55 PM

Didn't gain much with that wildcard, in fact lost ground on most but I wouldn't say it was wasted, cleared out a few non starters when a few other teams are still carrying some.

I like to have three players not playing. Then I don't have to worry about my substitutes racking up huge scores but not making it into my team.

Yes but most non starters come on for five minutes and 1point to deny the point scoring subs counting.

Yes, Darwin/Nunez did that the first two weeks. So I was planning on getting rid after last week's game. Then he came on and scored two goals last week (but was too far down my substitute pecking order to make it onto my team). So I kept him and put him in my starting XI this week. And he scored me 8 points.

Hit the post and the bar as well
Nunez owners were a bit unfortunate

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 3rd September 2023, 8:55 PM

Didn't gain much with that wildcard, in fact lost ground on most but I wouldn't say it was wasted, cleared out a few non starters when a few other teams are still carrying some.

I'll have to check out your new team
to see what the Fantasy cheat site is recommending at the moment for it's Gold members

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 1st September 2023, 9:32 AM

Then Don was (harshly imo) suspended, after he'd already voluntarily missed the season before, I gathered for the same alleged offence. So he's been punished twice which is unjust and unsporting, and like I said gives Anton, hardly the poster of the year (no offence) a great chance to add to his total without his closest rival here. Which he duly cashed in on last season. The fair balance has gone.

As I suspected, you haven't actually understood at all what's gone on, hence your 'outrage'. Don decided himself not to play last season. NO-ONE STOPPED HIM PLAYING.

This is the timeline of events. For the love of Christ, please read it closely.

14th July 2022 (Last season)
Goodlad created a new league because he didn't realise he only had to renew himself in the existing league. (Up the Clique)

14th July (same day)
As a prelude to the first games Don posted the 'Hall of Fame' list he likes to post and asked Goodlad if there were 'any rules this year' but did not join Goodlad's league or renew himself in Up the Clique.

1st August
Goodlad and Kipper realised that Up the Clique still existed and everyone was in it except Don.

1st August (same day)
Don posted; "It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights", amusingly calling us all Muppets as he generated atmosphere for the start of the season.

2nd - 4th August
Kipper and Goodlad urge Don to join the league.

5th August
Don posts the 'Hall of Fame' table again with a question mark next to 'winner 22/23' and says; "Here we go. Good luck, all!"
Goodlad points out; "You're not in our league".
Kipper seems excited and says; "Or is he? Another game of his maybe?" He calls Don a 'Ghost player' and says breathlessly; "I wonder at what point in the season he's going to rematerialize? GW 38 to lift another trophy?"

6th August
Don posts about buying Martinelli (who scored) or something similar but subsequently deletes post.

6th August
Goodlad isn't impressed by Kipper calling Don a 'Ghost player' and says; "The man's a plank."

7th August
Steve Sunshine asks; " Is Don in any of the leagues?"

Don responds after the GW1 is over and the points are in;

Don; "I'm in the official league with Splodge, Stylee Ting Ting, and a few others." and asks, rather ridiculously as we're all in Up the Clique except him: "What league are you in?"

8th August
Monday morning after the first weekend's play. I accuse Don of trying to cheat, noting that he deleted himself from Up the Clique, didn't join Goodlad's temporary league but still played the first game week. Because we can't see his team I suspect that he has created at least two teams and is planning to enter the highest scoring one. This is confirmed by him claiming to be in an old, dead league that is no longer administrated and can't be joined.

8th August
Don denies that he cheated or has two teams and says; "Didn't fancy it this year. No hidden agenda."

Although he has told us he has at least one team and has played the first week. He declines to enter his team into the Clique and does not participate for the whole of the season.

16th August
I serve Don a season ban for cheating. One whole game week after Don has said "he didn't fancy it" and declined to enter his team in the Clique even though we know that he has one and at least played the first week. To underline the point. Don told us he wasn't playing long before any ban was mooted. My ban was given 8 days after he said he didn't fancy it.

And because Don didn't enter himself into our league I could not suspend him. So the ban can only happen the following season, which is this one, so he hasn't been punished twice as you claim. In fact because you created a breakaway league for him he hasn't really been punished at all. He won in 22/23 and he was determined to win in 23/24, presumably because nobody has ever won consecutive years, and he was prepared to cheat to gain the advantage.

It's important to note that Don believes it is hard or impossible to come from behind if you don't get a good start and this is the motivation for him to use one or more teams. Don has form in this area. You may remember in the 20/21 season Don was actually suspended by the FPL administrators for having multiple accounts:

Quote: Godot Taxis @ 6th October 2020, 7:12 PM

So what did they ban you for?

Quote: don rushmore @ 6th October 2020, 11:10 PM

Multiple accounts were registered under my IP address.

By banning him for one season I genuinely hoped I could make him reconsider his actions. I don't especially like Don, but I genuinely don't dislike him either and I take administrating the Clique seriously - it's a tradition and I don't want it bollocksed up. As Herc pointed out, we have had multiple leagues and absentee admins over the years and under my aegis, things were becoming stable.

I've never had two teams. It's made up nonsense to discredit me.

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