Comedy phrases you use round the house. Page 2

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 16th August 2023, 9:53 PM

Too hard to name them but I generally use a funny word for everything I can think of at home and to people who know me at work, and occasionally to some who don't, which leaves some thinking I'm a looney. Broadband is always broadbean and surely all chess players say prawn, horsey, queenie, knighty knight when you nobble their horsey, or 'stop bashing my bishops' (M Monkhousean euphemism) if they're targeting them. Not that I play much anymore. (chess that is).

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I always think of Red Dwarf and Holly's stupid face when I'm playing Chess and it's impossible not to think of them as prawns and horsies. Or Richie from Bottom getting overexcited playing chess against Eddie. I wonder if professional players have that going on in their head while playing a match. Talking of Chess I learnt it at a young age but it's only recently I realised how little I knew about the game. Even the basics like opening moves. Right now I'm playing a tournament daily game against a CM (candidate master) and although it's highly likely I will lose I'm hoping to make it a good game. The rating system on chess.com isn't the same as FIDE but it's close. I was slowly increasing my rating up to near 1100 and then I lost a bunch of games on time and it's fallen to 968.

Quote: MrsLogicFromViz @ 17th August 2023, 9:00 AM

Of course, Vera Drake was referenced in my favourite episode of Extras, the one with the Dullard.

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That was the scene I was thinking of! I love Steve Speirs in that episode. I can't remember Andy's reply but it's along the same lines as "the long winter nights..."

Come to think of it when friends ask me my plans for the evening I sometimes say I'm reading/watching Vera Drake because of that scene from Extras.

A few fast show quotes still get mentioned at home. "oh, bugger" and "which was nice".

On seeing an attractive lady in town or on tele: Bottom Love Bureau scene - Whazzo (pair of jugs)

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 17th August 2023, 8:56 AM

That reminds me of a line from Blackadder that's become very popular in my town. Wherever you go people are always saying "the long winter nights must just fly by". Even the vagrants and orphans that have never seen Blackadder say it and I think a few deaf orphans created a musical rhyme with glockenspiels that won an international award. The line is also very popular among the British prison population as a light hearted way of accepting that options for recreation are limited.

"What are you doing today?"

"Just popping in to the exercise yard for an hour and then reading a few chapters of Vera Drake in my cell"

"The long winter nights...."

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Thanks! I'd never heard that one before. I think I'll start using it several thousand times a day and pretend I just thought of it myself, alongside 'That's you, that is' and 'Only me!!!!!!!!... You don't want to do it like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Never a dull moment.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 17th August 2023, 9:19 AM

I always think of Red Dwarf and Holly's stupid face when I'm playing Chess and it's impossible not to think of them as prawns and horsies. Or Richie from Bottom getting overexcited playing chess against Eddie. I wonder if professional players have that going on in their head while playing a match. Talking of Chess I learnt it at a young age but it's only recently I realised how little I knew about the game. Even the basics like opening moves. Right now I'm playing a tournament daily game against a CM (candidate master) and although it's highly likely I will lose I'm hoping to make it a good game. The rating system on chess.com isn't the same as FIDE but it's close. I was slowly increasing my rating up to near 1100 and then I lost a bunch of games on time and it's fallen to 968.

That was the scene I was thinking of! I love Steve Speirs in that episode. I can't remember Andy's reply but it's along the same lines as "the long winter nights..."

Come to think of it when friends ask me my plans for the evening I sometimes say I'm reading/watching Vera Drake because of that scene from Extras.

A few fast show quotes still get mentioned at home. "oh, bugger" and "which was nice".

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Steve Spiers is brilliant, although I do need to watch more of The Tuckers to really appreciate him. I loved him in Stella too. The Dullard reminds me keenly of some of the tedious people I have met in life who are mind blowingly depressing. I do recall when he's regaling Andy with the tragic story of his local newsagent, whose life was ruined when bleach was squirted in his eyes - "my eyes! My eyes!" Also, - "he could hear his wife with other men downstairs - doing it."

I grew up on The Fast Show and bought all of the DVDs. Bob Fleming puts me in mind of some of the woodland folk* I know.

*I'm a friend of my local abbey and associated Woodland. Yes, I do know some people who would happily live in the undergrowth but I am not one of them as I appreciate comfort and I couldn't receive Amazon parcels there.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 17th August 2023, 9:41 AM

Thanks! I'd never heard that one before. I think I'll start using it several thousand times a day and pretend I just thought of it myself, alongside 'That's you, that is' and 'Only me!!!!!!!!... You don't want to do it like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Never a dull moment.

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Emily Dean from the Frank Skinner show mentioned that the actress who played "it's only Sonia!" Ann Beach, was one of her parents' actor friends Highgate-based neighbours. Which is nice. Ann Beach was also the mother of Charlotte Coleman (RIP).

Quote: fasty @ 17th August 2023, 9:37 AM

On seeing an attractive lady in town or on tele: Bottom Love Bureau scene - Whazzo (pair of jugs)

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Is Bottom more of a blokey show? My brother likes it. I liked the scene when Eddie invites his mates around to talk about road signs.

When there is an unintended consequence of some action - "they will do these things" (Mr Grimes in the film & subsequent TV & radio series Brothers in Law}}

When someone is talking loudly in public on his mobile phone - "He'll get mastiffs in his ears" (Pike in Dad's Army}

When someone suggests something impractical - "Do you think that's wise?" (Dad's Army} or "I think you're entering the realms of fantasy there" (ib)

To anyone with an appointment for a blood test or similar - "A pint - that's very nearly an armful" (Hancock)

When something has been mixed up - "You've got all the right (whatever) but not necessarily in the right order" (M&W)

'F**k off, you f**king c**t.' It's from Alexei Sayle's Pirate Video.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 17th August 2023, 10:13 AM

'F**k off, you f**king c**t.' It's from Alexei Sayle's Pirate Video.

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That's a beautiful phrase. I am amazed that it wasn't previous uttered by Dorothy Parker, Oscar Wilde or, er, Nick Knowles.

He stole it off my mother.

The late great Bob's wife? Nice. I assume that you're a member of the Monkhouse dynasty?

The Alan Partridge 'Bouncing Back' quote: "needless to say, I had the last laugh" is my current WhatsApp status message. I also managed to slip the phrase "hoying a monkey into the sea" into a recent conversation with an acquaintance who hails from Stockton-on-Tees.

Quote: MrsLogicFromViz @ 17th August 2023, 10:37 AM

I assume that you're a member of the Monkhouse dynasty?

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Speaking of done-to-death comments... My personal favourite: Bob's yer uncle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only thing I hated more than people quoting Blackf**kingadder was people impersonating Bob Monkhouse. Cos they never impersonated Bob Monkhouse. They impersonated Rory Bremner impersonating Rory Bremner.
You dirty old man... That was my Harry H. Corbett impersonation. Good, isn't it?

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 17th August 2023, 10:49 AM

Speaking of done-to-death comments... My personal favourite: Bob's yer uncle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only thing I hated more than people quoting Blackf**kingadder was people impersonating Bob Monkhouse. Cos they never impersonated Bob Monkhouse. They impersonated Rory Bremner impersonating Rory Bremner.
You dirty old man... That was my Harry H. Corbett impersonation. Good, isn't it?

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Oh dear, I do seem to have inadvertently kicked the hornet's nest in regard to your surname, which I honestly thought was a stage name. Wasn't the "Bob's your uncle" phrase originated about a politician anyway? I'd Google it but then I'd have to leave this page to do so.

PS - is Rory Bremner still a thing? What about Mike Yarwood?

Michael Parkinson?

This thread's really taken off.

Like my mother's underwear.
There should be a law against quoting comedy. Unless it's the Young Ones.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 17th August 2023, 11:49 AM

Like my mother's underwear.
There should be a law against quoting comedy. Unless it's the Young Ones.

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I'll quote Rupert Rigsby here regarding Miss Jones' undergarments - "harvest festivals - all is safely gathered in."

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 17th August 2023, 11:49 AM

Like my mother's underwear.
There should be a law against quoting comedy. Unless it's the Young Ones.

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I don't find The Young Ones funny whatsoever. We're all different.