British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,618

Quote: lofthouse @ 14th July 2023, 1:27 PM

I'm sure the police are able to pull data off locked mobiles all the time

It's not that difficult

It's actually exceedingly difficult, and it can take years.

https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2020/05/20/fbi-finally-unlock-shooters-iphones-berate-apple-for-not-helping/

https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2016/03/29/fbi-cracks-that-iphone/

Thankfully he's "remembered" the PIN now.

There's nothing like electrodes to the testicles to jog your memory. Judging by his hair , he probably does that a lot.

Trouble is, it was the D.O.B of one of his children.

Quote: Firkin @ 14th July 2023, 11:58 AM

Has he tired Face ID (like everyone else uses) ?

Not everyone else.

I suppose they should have said 'Most' or 'Lots' When you're dealing with anything related to that charlatan you really have to dot the I's otherwise it looks like he is being picked on again instead of being as they say in Sweeny parlance 'Bang To Rights'

I've only just caught up with who was revealed as the BBC star sharing naughty photos with a poor innocent drug addict. Bollocks, I was praying it would be Fiona Bruce, and I'd now be scouring the underweb for her photos...slap slap.

A rather odious slimey GB news presenter is currently all over Twitter with rumours of rum shenanigans....

Those rumours are quite amusing, and make Huw Edwards sound like a choirboy. No wonder he's on a mysterious 'leave of absence'.

Media generated hype over a bloke caught with his hand in the sweetie jar, just designed to sell more daily rags. But does anybody scan the lines of dailies every morning before deciding which one to buy, or do they just get the same one every day out of habit? When I worked with a gang of lads on the electricity networks we each bought a designated different paper every day so we had plenty of crosswords to tackle during tea break.

Just sack him and get someone else in like in the real World. I bet there's half a dozen on here who can scrub up well and read out loud for an hour, specially for £430k a year.

I'll have a bash
'nah then 'eer's t'news. Towd Hue as bin gee'n t'sack fo mucky pic'churs.
It's a reyt to do.
Nah wither. It's barna piss it darn.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 15th July 2023, 11:12 AM

I'll have a bash
'nah then 'eer's t'news. Towd Hue as bin gee'n t'sack fo mucky pic'churs.
It's a reyt to do.
Nah wither. It's barna piss it darn.

Dor! Look you boyo, that's f**king rubbish - Mwyfanny! Come and hear this prat, look you, trying to do my job, isn't it.

Cheers mi duks, now ower to Carol wi't weather. It's looking a bit black over Bill's mother's.

"Alright everyone, I'm 'ere with the 10 O'Clock news. Boris Johnson has finally remembered his passcode for his ol' dog and bone"

(I rarely use rhyming slang - short form or long form - but absolutely would exaggerate for comedic purposes if the news let me on with my cockney accent)

Climate change was getting plenty of coverage on the morning news channels.
But they always have to have extremists spouting their 'The end of the world is nigh' rhetoric.

One told us jet planes will not be able to take off in the future as the air will be too thin and there's a real chance some will fall out of the sky.
Spain will be off the table for future holidays and Greece have temporarily closed the Acropolis because of soaring temperatures (but forgetting to mention 17,000 people a day try to cram into it from the luxury cruises that constantly dock)
Meanwhile, in the UK, temperatures are low for July but surprise surprise - that is also due to climate change

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