British Comedy Guide

Funny cartoons Page 51

Artwork by Larson
Dialogue by me

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Quote: alison blunderland @ 10th June 2023, 3:17 PM

Artwork by Larson
Dialogue by me

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I don't get that.

Okay Chappers, you know when you move house, you take some of your stuff with you in your pockets or in your car but you send the heavy stuff on ahead to await your arrival, right?
Okay, so this is a topical joke about a man who bears evil grudges to certain people but, towards the end of his life, he gets some advice. People tell him, "Hey, don't take grudges to your grave. It's not good for your peace of mind." And you know what? He actually sees the wisdom in this advice! He's like, "Yeah, I'm not gonna take my grudges with me. I'm gonna let go and be free!" He promises his advisers he will not take his grudges to the grave.
But wait, hold on, it's not that simple. This man realises something. He realises that he hates his enemies so much, he just can't let go of those grudges. I mean, lots of Internet forum posters have been there, right? You hate someone so much, it's like a full-time job! So, what does he do? He can't leave his grudges behind on this earth and yet he doesn't want to break his promise so he comes up with a plan, a plan so diabolical it's genius!
This guy is a complete C-U-Next-Tuesday so he knows is going to Hell and in this crazy, surreal scenario, he decides to send his grudges on ahead of him to Hell to await his arrival. Yeah, you heard me right. He's like, "Hey, Satan, can you do me a favour? If I send you my grudges, can you hold onto them for me until I get there? I'll be along in a bit, so don't you dare let those grudges go!"
And guess what, Chappers? He arrives in Hell, and he's lining up along with all the other new arrivals and he's waiting to collect his grudges from the reception desk where he'll be like, "Okay, diabolical receptionist, hand 'em over. I've got eternity to nurture these babies, and I won't be breaking my promise!"
I mean, come on, can you imagine? A man so hateful and dedicated to his grudges that he's willing to make a deal with the devil himself! It's twisted, it's hilarious, and it's downright outrageous!
Okay, I know there'll be some naysayers out there, the usual suspects who are going to say this joke's not funny but in all honesty I think it is. And if some peeps want to say it's not, well they can just pack up their sense of humour along with all their other belongings and go straight to . . . you know where !

Quote: Chappers @ 12th June 2023, 4:56 PM

I don't get that.

Dave - just don't bother with him. He thinks he is funny and has the arrogance and temerity to think he can improve on the humour of Larson, which clearly is too subtle for his brain to comprehend.

What he's offered up is utter tripe and then has to go at length to explain how funny it is in his little world or down the pub with his drunk mates.

One day it will dawn on him that he is talentless.

Quote: alison blunderland @ 12th June 2023, 10:19 PM

Okay Chappers, you know when you move house, you take some of your stuff with you in your pockets or in your car but you send the heavy stuff on ahead to await your arrival, right?
Okay, so this is a topical joke about a man who bears evil grudges to certain people but, towards the end of his life, he gets some advice. People tell him, "Hey, don't take grudges to your grave. It's not good for your peace of mind." And you know what? He actually sees the wisdom in this advice! He's like, "Yeah, I'm not gonna take my grudges with me. I'm gonna let go and be free!" He promises his advisers he will not take his grudges to the grave.
But wait, hold on, it's not that simple. This man realises something. He realises that he hates his enemies so much, he just can't let go of those grudges. I mean, lots of Internet forum posters have been there, right? You hate someone so much, it's like a full-time job! So, what does he do? He can't leave his grudges behind on this earth and yet he doesn't want to break his promise so he comes up with a plan, a plan so diabolical it's genius!
This guy is a complete C-U-Next-Tuesday so he knows is going to Hell and in this crazy, surreal scenario, he decides to send his grudges on ahead of him to Hell to await his arrival. Yeah, you heard me right. He's like, "Hey, Satan, can you do me a favour? If I send you my grudges, can you hold onto them for me until I get there? I'll be along in a bit, so don't you dare let those grudges go!"
And guess what, Chappers? He arrives in Hell, and he's lining up along with all the other new arrivals and he's waiting to collect his grudges from the reception desk where he'll be like, "Okay, diabolical receptionist, hand 'em over. I've got eternity to nurture these babies, and I won't be breaking my promise!"
I mean, come on, can you imagine? A man so hateful and dedicated to his grudges that he's willing to make a deal with the devil himself! It's twisted, it's hilarious, and it's downright outrageous!
Okay, I know there'll be some naysayers out there, the usual suspects who are going to say this joke's not funny but in all honesty I think it is. And if some peeps want to say it's not, well they can just pack up their sense of humour along with all their other belongings and go straight to . . . you know where !

Quote: alison blunderland @ 30th April 2023, 3:41 PM

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That's a very good cartoon in typical Hebdo style, glad to see it's still going strong.

Quote: alison blunderland @ 12th June 2023, 10:19 PM

Okay Chappers, you know when you move house, you take some of your stuff with you in your pockets but you send the heavy stuff on ahead to await your arrival, right?

We used to do that when we went on holiday; never mind moving house!

Here's the original Gary Larson cartoon.

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Herc is right, of course. There's no way I could possibly improve on a joke like that.
'Hot enough for ya?' Oh, Gary! How do you come up with them?

Quote: alison blunderland @ 13th June 2023, 12:36 PM

Here's the original Gary Larson cartoon.

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Herc is right, of course. There's no way I could possibly improve on a joke like that.
'Hot enough for ya?' Oh, Gary! How do you come up with them?

Well no you can't improve on Larson. It's good that you need to be so succinct in explaining your joke. That's always good when telling a "joke".

And really I don't understand your explanation because is that what happens when you go to Hell?

I don't get the explanation either - surely a 'grudge' is a feeling, not a person?

Quote: Chappers @ 13th June 2023, 5:02 PM

It's good that you need to be so succinct in explaining your joke. That's always good when telling a "joke".
?

Not quite with you there - all I know is, if you have to explain a joke then it isn't one, or in this case you are f**king useless at writing one.

Dialogue by me. Original artwork by A. N. Other

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R.I.P. Glenda Jackson - brilliant actress, great MP an all-round top woman.

Cheeky, I did that punchline myself a couple of days ago when Lofthouse said he was listening to "Rolling Stones - this could be the last time"! (Although I 'borrowed' the catchphrase from Michael Monkhouse!)

Quote: a plate @ 16th June 2023, 1:29 AM

Cheeky, I did that punchline myself a couple of days ago when Lofthouse said he was listening to "Rolling Stones - this could be the last time"! (Although I 'borrowed' the catchphrase from Michael Monkhouse!)

The man has no original humour of his own, as proven from previous "masterpieces" on this thread and others - imo crap joke/cartoon about one of our finest actresses.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 7th June 2023, 11:21 AM

I'm now 78 . . . I cannot take grudges to my grave.

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