British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,588

Turns out those e-bikes are a really stupid idea

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I want to know why that lump of shit in France who stabbed those innocents, is still breathing air.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th June 2023, 9:45 AM

I want to know why that lump of shit in France who stabbed those innocents, is still breathing air.

Because they, like us, don't have the death penalty.
Pretty sure he'll go away for the rest of his life.

The police shot him but he survived it. A better aim and he wouldn't be breathing air.

Quote: Lazzard @ 9th June 2023, 10:02 AM

Because they, like us, don't have the death penalty.
Pretty sure he'll go away for the rest of his life.

Really? And so, what. He'll never been of any use to anyone, and it would stop some loony judge letting him back into society because some even loonier psychiatrist says he is no longer a threat, and how many times have we heard/seen that, only for them to kill again.

It won't be in my life time, but I'm sure one day there will be a massive push to bring true justice, not the namby-pamby wrist slap we have now.
You give me one good reason why a committed killer should be allowed to walk the streets again, and what would you say if they killed one of your family.
Once they have been put down, like a rabid dog, there is no more threat.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th June 2023, 10:43 AM

You give me one good reason why a committed killer should be allowed to walk the streets again,.

Because countless 'committed killers' have been found to be not guilty many years later.
Their death would be on our, or rather, your hands.
It's not like it's any sort of deterrent.
It's just revenge - which I think is a pretty low sentiment and one we can rise above.

Quote: Lazzard @ 9th June 2023, 10:51 AM

Because countless 'committed killers' have been found to be not guilty many years later.

Countless? Really? You talk about other people making claims out of the blue - can you expand on that with facts? No, don't bother as we're never going to see eye to eye on this.

Quote: Lazzard @ 9th June 2023, 10:51 AM

It's just revenge - which I think is a pretty low sentiment and one we can rise above.

Oh, I feel really bad now..........
And so, thank you The Reverend Lazzard.
Your ticket will be at the Pearly Gates

"The Birmingham 6 are actually innocent and didn't murder 21 people?"

" yes that's right they didn't kill anyone it seems, OK shall we apologise and let them out of jail?"

" ermmmmm not really, we hung them all - but sure let their families know we're sorry!"

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th June 2023, 11:07 AM

Countless? Really? You talk about other people making claims out of the blue - can you expand on that with facts? No, don't bother as we're never going to see eye to eye on this.
Of course I can.
I wouldn't say it if wasn't true.
But as per your request, I'll let you continue in wilful ignorance.
After all, your famous for closing down arguments just before you lose them.

Oh, I feel really bad now..........
And so, thank you The Reverend Lazzard.
Your ticket will be at the Pearly Gates

No, it won't because they, along with God, don't exist.
I think it's perfectly possible for people to have a moral compass without some wizard in the sky telling them what's what.

Nadine Dorries reportedly dropped from bojos honours list!

Years of ramming her tongue firmly up his arsehole - and its counted for nothing

Quote: lofthouse @ 9th June 2023, 1:09 PM

Nadine Dorries reportedly dropped from bojos honours list!

Years of ramming her tongue firmly up his arsehole - and its counted for nothing

And she'd already announced that she was going to jack her MP job in.
Blimey!
Who can you trust id you can't trust Boris Johnson?

Trump indicted on charges of espionage

Who would have thought that putting a prat like him in the White House - would result in him taking highly classified secret documents back to his shitty golf club so he can show all his mates

Then not return some and lose some and then lie about it

Quick tip : don't make an overgrown, spoiled child the leader of the largest super power on Earth

I hope he gets 100 years in f**kin Alcatraz

Quote: Lazzard @ 9th June 2023, 10:51 AM

It's just revenge ...................

If you'll me one last blast - it has absolutely nothing to do with revenge, whatsoever.

It's protection - there have been too many killers released because "they have learnt their lesson", who go on to kill again.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th June 2023, 4:04 PM

If you'll me one last blast - it has absolutely nothing to do with revenge, whatsoever.

It's protection - there have been too many killers released because "they have learnt their lesson", who go on to kill again.

So kill them all, just in case.

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You know what? If you threw Lazzard into a pit full of ravening wolves and came back 10 minutes later - there's a good chance he'd have civilised the lot of them!

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