Hey All
Sketch reject from the Love episode. I think it's all right.
SOMETHING NEW IN THE BEDROOM
WOMAN: Hon', I think we should do something new in the bedroom.
MAN: Really?
WOMAN: Yeah. What do you think?
MAN: Oh. I don't know. I'm... (LAUGHS) You know me - fairly tame tastes.
WOMAN: Oh, come on. There must be something you feel like doing.
MAN: Oh, I'm- Nothing comes to mind. I'm satisfied with things as they are.
WOMAN: Oh, just tell me. Anything. Just go wild with ideas. Absolutely no judgement.
MAN: Really? Oh, OK. Erm, I suppose, some music. Some dirty talk. Some blindfolds. Some masks. Some ice. Some candlewax. (GETTING MORE INTO IT) Some rope. Some chains. Some whips. Some leather. Some ball-gags. Some clamps. Some pokers. (TOO INTO IT) A rack. A circular board I can be pinned to while darts are thrown at me. A Teletubbies outfit. A cactus with some lube on it. An iguana wearing a mask of Theresa May. And a recording of my Mum saying, "Oh, you dirty boy! You dirty, dirty, dirty boy!" (HEAVY BREATHING) What about you?
WOMAN: Erm... well... When I said I think we should do something new in the bedroom.
MAN: Yeah!?
WOMAN: I was thinking... Changing the wallpaper and painting the skirting board.
MAN: Oh... That'd be good too.
END