British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,581

I once worked at a sewerage plant (installing shit level sensors in settling tanks) They probably had another name - but it's what they were.
An experience I'll never forget.
The pong being the main factor.
I'll not go into detail because it was horrendous but a few things never leave you.
There's a sluice filter gate that is raised every hour to clean it. Clean it of johnnies, tampons and occasional fetus's
We had to install the cables down the side of the incoming raw sewage canal.
My workmate was upstream fastening the cables while I was downstream drilling holes.
Every now and again he would shout 'watch out Goody - incoming. And the biggest turd came bobbing along. I'm not kidding, a foot or so long and 3 inches thick.

I too once worked at a sewerage plant , but I quit after a few weeks

I felt like I was just going through the motions..

On a school trip to the sewage works some kid threw my brother's bag into the stillages, so the next day I threw that kids bag over a wall and by shear coincidence it fell in a dog turd. His mum complained to the head teacher who just asked me if it was a joke turd. Each time I was sent to the head, he'd just say "What was the joke this time ?" - there were advantages to being the class clown.

Mind you a joke by a Chinese stand up attracted a fine of £1.68 million pound as it was aimed at the Chinese military. They take jokes way to seriously.

The poor sod could go to prison for it as well.

A man pushed some Just Stop Oil protesters walking slowly in the road.

"We urge people not to intervene and to wait for the arrival of police, who will attend the scene promptly."

Well obviously they didn't attend the scene promptly enough!

People should remember the cost of living crisis effects us all - even the PM

Sunak and his wife are having such a rough time, their personal wealth is now down to a measly 529 million pounds

How the f**k they will manage on half a billion is anyone's guess...

So we are ALL feeling the pinch

So, The Mail are turning on Suella Braverman, their Rwanda hero, for dodgy dealings over a speeding ticket?
I guess the paper must have had the word from No.10 to kybosh the NatCons & any potential (further) swing to the right.
As tempting as they & their readers might find their ghastly rhetoric - if it loses them the Blue Wall, as Senior Tories fear, The Mail is out in the cold.

Phillip Schofield has announced he is to leave This Morning 'with immediate effect.
I once had to leave a job with immediate effect but the boss called it something else.

Surely the strong rumours his super-injunction is to expire in June can't be connected.

Quote: Lazzard @ 21st May 2023, 9:14 AM

I guess the paper must have had the word from No.10 to kybosh the NatCons & any potential (further) swing to the right.

Nat C's more like

"THEY THINK IT'S ALL SOFA!" screams the Daily Mirror headline - my heart bleeds for the twat.

Who watches This Morning anyway??

Tedious tripe

All morning TV of that type is utter bollocks, and rots your brain

What sort of party is prepared to crash the countries economy unless the president agrees to give massive tax breaks to billion dollar companies - whilst at the same time make billion dollar cuts to public services for normal working people?

Republicans

F**k me, our Conservative party may be shit - but the American version is a bunch of evil, demented f**king lunatics

No wonder they worship Trump , they deserve each other

Maniacs

Quote: Lazzard @ 21st May 2023, 9:14 AM

So, The Mail are turning on Suella Braverman, their Rwanda hero, for dodgy dealings over a speeding ticket?.

Apparently she also 'forgot' that she used to do work for the Rawandan government years ago

Another breach of the ministerial code

Of course she just argues that she is focusing on 'delivering for the British people'

Like overseeing policy on immigration , that is TRIPLE what the tories promised it would be in their last election manifesto

Don't want to soil the RIP thread - some 93 year old Antipodean perv, who used to be the toast of the town has died.

Share this page