British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,560

Even Tories are calling out the racists in their party

The former Conservative party chair Sayeeda Warsi has said she has warned her father not to walk home alone from the mosque, fearing a backlash against British Muslims from what she termed "racist rhetoric" from the home secretary, Suella Braverman.

I think that anyone who wants to go into politics shouldn't be allowed to.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 14th April 2023, 11:16 AM

I have no hate - for anyone but I do dislike it when someone grades racism.
'Your lot are worse - so that cancels out our racism, eh Lofty.

Ironically saying no hate, is grading your hate at zero. So why can't other grade their emotions ? "Cancel out" is also a mathematical way of seeing emotions. Btw I'm feeling a bit Pythagoras right now, so don't have a go.

Quote: Chappers @ 14th April 2023, 6:06 PM

I think that anyone who wants to go into politics shouldn't be allowed to.

Good point, but then you'd have to force people to do Politics at gun point wouldn't you ? America has guns and pays their President way more than we do so JFK gets shot, and Trump got protected. I'd rather have Maggie and Blair - his government brokered peace in Ireland and his crime was to get fixated on weapons of mass distraction - men in power and their phallic fantasies hey ?

Protesters bring the snooker to a halt.

I know it's boring as f**k, but that's a bit extreme

😄

The future's bright - the future's Orange.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 18th April 2023, 8:47 AM

The future's bright - the future's Orange.

©️

Quote: lofthouse @ 17th April 2023, 9:47 PM

Protesters bring the snooker to a halt.

I'd love to see them try and interrupt the Isle of Man TT - they'd never find the bodies :)

I see that conspiracy theorists are in full force about the reason for the alarm calls to your phone this Sunday.
It's part of The new World order, spyware will be installed on your phone, They can now deactivate everyone's phone with a press of a button and even it will activate something in the Covid vaccine.

We need a vaccine against conspiracy theorists.
Trouble is, the bastards wouldn't take it.

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Well hello possums, it's me, Dame Edna Everage, the larger-than-life, gorgeous and talented megastar of stage and screen. Now, if we were to ask some of BCG's oldest contributors what's the best thing ever to come out of Australia, some of them might say Foster's Lager or Skippy the bush kangaroo, but darlings, they'd be absolutely wrong on both counts. Foster's isn't even Australian, and as delightful as Skippy might have been in her heyday, her popularity hasn't endured, mainly because there hasn't been nearly as much bush around since the 1980s as there was c.1970 when she was a TV superstar.
But, drum roll please, the best thing ever to come out of Australia is the one and only Barry Humphries, a comedian and satirist who's been entertaining audiences since the mid-1950s and who will still be entertaining them in 2023, health permitting. However, we have a bit of a problem, my loves. Poor old Barry isn't in the best condition these days, having taken a bit of a tumble at home and broken his hip some time ago. And, if that weren't bad enough, he's now suffering from complications and is in hospital in Australia, where the medical professionals are doing their very best to put him right. Let's all send him our very best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Are you with me, darlings?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 19th April 2023, 7:41 AM

I see that conspiracy theorists are in full force about the reason for the alarm calls to your phone this Sunday.
It's part of The new World order, spyware will be installed on your phone, They can now deactivate everyone's phone with a press of a button and even it will activate something in the Covid vaccine.

Frankly Scarlett, I couldn't give a shit, as I have a Pay as You Go, which rarely gets used or switched on as I have it only for emergencies, and while we're on the subject - why the f**k do some companies/gov.depts. assume everyone has a mobile and they will not let you advance on their website without you tell them what it is - f**k off and mind your own business.

My Tesco mobile cost me £20 10 years ago, which came with £10 worth of free calls and since then I have put about £15 in it - IF I'd bought/rented (?) a mobile then and/or taken out a plan, I would now have spent around £3,500 - Er, no thank you!

Anything can be termed a conspiracy theory (i) if you don't believe it yourself and (ii) until it proves to be true. Smoking damaging your health; Thalidomide: heading footballs leading to brain damage; anything to do with the SNP... ...

Jacob Rees-Mogg seemed quite angry that it was on St George's Day.

I trust, but know it won't happen, that the bell-end who came up with the ironically named "Smart Motorway", is now no longer in a job.

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