Pirate Sketch

A MAN WALKS INTO A DOCTORS AND SITS DOWN AT DESK. THE MAN IS DRESSED UP AS A PIRATE AND HAS A PATCH ON HIS LEFT EYE.

Doctor
(LOOKS CONFUSED) Hello, how can I help?

Man
Well doctor, it’s my eye. You see, in my line of work, the pirate industry, (LAUGHS) there are a number of risks that one faces.

Doctor
Yes (NODS HEAD IN AGREEMENT)

Man
For example, me and my deputy, John Sparrow, were fighting against other Pirates, evil bastards they were, and anyway, they captured John.

Doctor
(MOVES CLOSER TO PIRATE) Yes, and what happened to him?

Man
They tortured him. (PAUSES) And when he was released he was only left with one eye,they had only cut out one of his bleeding eyes hadn’t they? And I seem to have received this (POINTS AT EYE) in the very same battle.

Doctor
(GASPS) That’s terrible, what’s the problem with you?

Pirate
(TAKES OFF PATCH TO REVEAL A GOOEY EYE) Conjunctivitis.

Paul that's not especially funny. And it's about pirates, being unfunny about pirates is sin against God.

Quite an interestig turnaround. But surely the Doctor would tell him it's conjunctivitis. If he knows why is he going to the Doctor?

Yeah, good point there Dave, will work on changing that. Thanks guys.

A pirate with conjunctivitis is a funny idea. The sketch was a poor execution of that idea. Keep working at it.

A much faster way to achieve the same effect would be to have the pirate come in, say nothing, then after the doctor's flicked through his notes, have him say: 'Captain Blackheart, isn't it? Shall we take a look at that conjunctivitis?'. All we need to briefly see then is the doctor lifting up the eye patch as the pirate leans towards him over the desk, his back to the camera.

Quote: Antony Wheeler @ March 25, 2008, 1:56 PM

A much faster way to achieve the same effect would be to have the pirate come in, say nothing, then after the doctor's flicked through his notes, have him say: 'Captain Blackheart, isn't it? Shall we take a look at that conjunctivitis?'. All we need to briefly see then is the doctor lifting up the eye patch as the pirate leans towards him over the desk, his back to the camera.

View original

Sorry - I don't agree there. Too short and isn't really the joke.

Quote: David Chapman @ March 25, 2008, 2:07 PM

Sorry - I don't agree there. Too short and isn't really the joke.

View original

That's comedy for you.

The original version is fine but a bit 'Two Ronnies'. My take on it gets you to the laugh quicker. Why? Well, we know pirate captains generally have eye patches. But the idea that this guy's patch is merely covering an infection - plus the inference that Blackheart has seen the GP about it at least once before - gives the whole scenario a surreal, comedic angle which makes any further dialogue redundant. The problem I had with the original was that I could see where it was going - and no one likes a telegraphed laugh.

Quote: Antony Wheeler @ March 25, 2008, 2:18 PM

That's comedy for you.

The original version is fine but a bit 'Two Ronnies'. My take on it gets you to the laugh quicker. Why? Well, we know pirate captains generally have eye patches. But the idea that this guy's patch is merely covering an infection - plus the inference that Blackheart has seen the GP about it at least once before - gives the whole scenario a surreal, comedic angle which makes any further dialogue redundant. The problem I had with the original was that I could see where it was going - and no one likes a telegraphed laugh.

View original

Unlike the pirate.

OK - fair enough.

Quote: sootyj @ March 25, 2008, 1:27 PM

Paul that's not especially funny. And it's about pirates, being unfunny about pirates is sin against God.

View original