Here is one that I made up tell me what you think:
Plot: Liz Page was walking down the road with her friend when she was killed but who by and why was she killed ? Liz has a plan to catch the killer but as she finds out it is not that easy, so she asks her ex-husband to help her but as soon finds that the killer may be harder to find then she thought, however that is untill someone pushes her into the road...
I have no idea what any of that meant and even less where I was supposed to laugh.
Is it another Waterloo Road plot?
It read like the blurb of a Point Horror book. Anyone remember Point Horror books?
Quote: Seefacts @ March 25, 2008, 12:11 PMIs it another Waterloo Road plot?
It read like the blurb of a Point Horror book. Anyone remember Point Horror books?
I do! And they left clues in the text, thrilling stuff!
Ok...
1. Jake this is the critique forum. For comedy!
2. This sounds like I'm reading the back of a terrible murder mystery book. (not comedy)
3. Please don't post in here unless it's something that can be classed as comedy (or if you have a comment on someone elses work).
Thanks for your time.
Moving to General.
Well I laughed. More at it than with it.
Quote: Jake How @ March 25, 2008, 11:22 AMHere is one that I made up tell me what you think:
Plot: Liz Page was walking down the road with her friend when she was killed but who by and why was she killed ? so Liz has a plan to catch the killer but as she finds out it is not that easy so she asks her ex-husband to help her but as soon finds that the killer may be harder to find then she thought, however that is untill someone pushes her into the road...
Woah, woah, hold up.
"Liz Page was walking down the road with her friend when she was killed" . . . Right.
"Liz has a plan to catch the killer" - but Liz is DEAD? Ah, she comes back from the dead then? I like this idea.
"but as she finds out it is not that easy so she asks her ex-husband to help" - Not the police then? Someone fella she fell out with in 1998.
Sounds really thrilling . . .
"However that is untill someone pushes her into the road..." - That'll be her ex-husband then . . .
It was made by me tell me how I can make it better ?
I actually wouldn't know where to start Jake...
Quote: Jake How @ March 25, 2008, 1:01 PMIt was made by me tell me how I can make it better ?
What's it meant to be Jake?
A Drama.
Quote: Paul W @ March 25, 2008, 12:37 PM3. Please don't post in here unless it's something that can be classed as comedy (or if you have a comment on someone elses work).
I don't think that's necessarily true, otherwise most of the things in there would be breaking that rule 
but seriously, it makes sense to make it mainly comedy but I don't think the occasionally non-comedy hurts.
Erm just a technical point jake 'Ask Me' how can Liz find her killer if shes dead?
No her friend is dead.
Quote: Jake How @ March 25, 2008, 1:11 PMA Drama.
Who's top of your poll Jake? (oo err) You FHM 100 Sexiest Women Poll that is.