Director
kay Carl, are you ready? Good, so remember, try to sound really robotic. Alright? Three, two, one... Go! Go Carl!
Carl the bot: Hello, you're through to our complaints helpline.
To complain, press one one one.
To complain about the way your complaint was handled press two two two four.
To complain about the way your complaint about your complaint was handled press three three three seven six.
To complain about the way your complaint about your complaint about your complaint was handled press four four four six one six one six five.
If you're starting to get fed up with having to complain all the time press five five five five seven five seven one three.
If you're getting really cheesed off now and are in imminent danger of losing your rag press six six six one six six six four six nine six.
If it's got to the stage where you're prepared to come down to our headquarters and sit outside with a placard saying what an absolutely diabolical organisation we have become press seven seven seven zero seven seven four seven four four seven two.
If you just want to run after our CEO, grab hold of their brief case and throw it in the nearest pond press eight eight eight one two three four five six seven eight six five four five three two one one two.
If you no longer feel that you can be held responsible for your actions and have recently become aware that if you had access to a suitable red button you would unhesitatingly push it and take out the whole of Bolton press nine nine nine seven nine nine nine seven nine nine nine nine seven four one four one four.
Director: Whoa, Carl! Too many nines in the middle there. And there should have been a zero in there somewhere too. Aargh! Alright, cut! We'll have to start again!
