British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,523

BBC Liverpool V Wolves. The sound feed was hacked while Linekar was commentating.
Sexual intercourse noises were played with a woman moaning. They cut to other pitch commentators but when they came back the sex noises came back on.
Hilarious.

Quote: DaButt @ 17th January 2023, 7:05 PM

^That's exactly how Putin wants us to think. His conventional forces have proven to be no match for a small army of determined soldiers armed with the West's hand-me-downs, so all he has left is nuclear fearmongering. He and his cronies have become billionaires over the last two decades, and there's no way they'll give up their yachts and villas and Western university educations for their children. The only action that would cause the nukes to fly would be an attack on Russia that threatens the nation's survival. Nobody - neither Ukraine nor NATO - has any intention of invading or destroying Russia. All anyone wants is for Russia's invasion of Ukraine to be repelled and for Russia to stop threatening its neighbors in the region. There should be no denying that if Putin succeeds in taking Ukraine, he will set his sights on Moldova, the Balkans, and any other chunk of the former USSR that suits his fancy. Arming Ukraine with whatever weapons they need to defeat the Russian invaders is our best course of action.

We learned that appeasing Hitler was a catastrophic mistake, and we shouldn't hesitate to push back against his 21st-century doppelganger, Putin.

Yep - I'm with you on this.
(And I was one of the mugs who thought he'd never invade in the first place)
He's openly stated he want to recover all the territories that once belongd to Russia pre-1917.
He's been getting away with murder on foreign soil.
He thinks we're weak (he has a point - buckling under on the Crimea, a few sanctions over Syria, a sound telling-off over poisonings on UK soil..)
He needs putting back in his box.

Let's hope the Russians have a Claus von Stauffenberg sniffing about somewhere

Only a bit more flippin competent..

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has been fined for not wearing a seatbelt in a moving car while filming a social media video.
Lancashire Police said it had issued a 42-year-old man from London with a conditional offer of a fixed penalty.
No 10 said Mr Sunak "fully accepts this was a mistake and has apologised", adding that he would pay the fine.
Passengers caught failing to wear a seat belt when one is available can be fined £100.
This can increase to £500 if the case goes to court.
The prime minister was in Lancashire when the video was filmed, during a trip across the north of England.
The video - to promote the government's latest round of "levelling up" spending - was posted on Mr Sunak's Instagram account.
It is the second time Mr Sunak has received a fixed penalty notice while in government.

Lolz 😆

The really sad part is that he is in charge of the country. Even a 14 year old kid on a bike selling pot knows better than to film themselves breaking the law and then posting it all over the internet.
Especially given that his own MP 30p Lee Anderson yesterday posted an yet another outrageous tweet that had wine glasses in the background and it was over Twitter in seconds that he drinks at work.

The Conservative party chair, Nadhim Zahawi, agreed to pay a penalty to HMRC as part of a seven-figure settlement over his tax affairs, the Guardian has been told.

The former chancellor, who still attends the cabinet, has been subject to extensive questions in parliament and the media in recent days after it emerged he agreed to pay millions to HMRC in December after a settlement with the tax agency.

The Guardian has now been told that the former chancellor paid a penalty imposed by HMRC - part of an estimated £5m tax bill.

Penalties are applied if someone does not pay the correct tax at the right time.

Probably didn't break the law, but yet more highly immoral behaviour from the tories, despite Sunaks initial promises of integrity and blah blah blahhhh

Bunch of liars and crooks and incompetent cretins

So, an ex CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER made a careless error paying his taxes

No wonder our economy is f**ked

Am I allowed to make careless errors too?

Pathetic

Quote: lofthouse @ 21st January 2023, 6:11 PM

Am I allowed to make careless errors too?

Yes, you are. Provided you then pay the penalties levied as a result.

Not defending an ex-Chancellor for doing so. Just answering your question.

Maybe

But if it's simply a careless error - why did he threaten to sue journalists 6 months ago if they dare print a word about it?

Is this the bunch of gangsters we have in power now? If the journos get wind of the latest sleazy shenanigans we just threaten to take them to court if they tell the public?

" integrity, professionalism and accountability "

F**k off!!!

Looking at the alleged amount it was only a small oversight of five million. I'm sure most tax payers would avoid court in such circumstances.

I see buried news of Meghan Markle's past is surfacing.
Apparently, she was a Yacht-girl. Don't ask.

I wish there was a viable alternative.

Afghan asylum seeker guilty of Bournemouth murder over e-scooter row had killed before in Serbia

After delivering their verdict, the jury heard Abdulrahimzai had previously been convicted of murder following a trial in Serbia and had been sentenced to 20 years in prison in his absence.

Apparently he'd already been refused refugee status by Norway, and had come to Britain, claiming to be 14 or 16 and was under a Taliban death threat.

It convinces me even more, that we here in the UK have become the dustbin of Europe.

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Quote from the ever intelligent Fearne Cotton after she was cat called by some scaffolders.

"I sort of lost the plot a bit and I kind of walked back and was like "you cannot talk to me like that". Then my husband kind of got involved and he sort of said "right what's going on here?"

Kind of, was like, sort of? So what REALLY Happened?

I would have been "Thats just like so durhh, losers"

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