A few short sketches ...

Okay, my first sketch in this part of the forum was over-long. So here are a few shorts. Do your worst - I have thick skin:

'Trendy salon'

INT. HAIRDRESSER’S. DAY

A smart but dull-looking businessman sits nervously in hairdresser’s chair and talks to a trendy young male stylist.

Businessman: I just … I want something a bit ‘younger’, y’know?

The stylist pauses for a while, puts down his comb and scissors and scoops up a huge handful of hair gel. He rubs it randomly into the businessman’s hair, then wipes his hands on a towel.

Stylist: Right. That’ll be £80.

<END>

'Mufti day'

INT. OFFICE. DAY

Two women in causal clothing are sat at desks which face each other. Between them on a desk is a charity collecting tin.

Woman 1: Nice wearing your own clothes to work, isn’t it?

Woman 2: (Puts hand on top of collecting tin) And it’s all for a good cause.

A man enters the office wearing a clown’s outfit and sporting full face make-up with a red nose. He puts his bag down on a nearby desk and notices both women are staring at him.

Clown: What? Everything else is in the wash!

<END>

'Stolen mobile'

INT. PUB. NIGHT

Two guys are stood at a bar sharing a joke over a couples of pints. On a stool between them is a holdall. As their laughter dies down, one man starts acting shifty.

Man 1: Listen, you wanna buy a mobile?

Man 2: (Becoming serious and looking around) Maybe. How much?

Man 1: Twenty?

Man 2: All right. Let’s have a look.

Man 1 reaches into the holdall and pulls out a baby’s cot mobile which is playing a tune.

<END>

The 3rd one is pretty good. The others kinda don't go anywhere. They're all predictable normal responses to predictable, normal situations.

My thoughts,

1 The hairdresser punches him, and steals his mobile, or slahes his arm with a razor (ala self harm)

2 Clown suit, great idea. However man says "This is what I look like when I'm casual," or "It's my life you can't judge me,"

The 2nd one is a great runner skit. S&M, nazi, maybe even two midget, an endless array of what people look like when they're casual.

Interesting responses, sootyj - thanks. It shows how differently we view things. I saw the third sketch as the most predictable.

You're right in spotting that the second sketch was meant to be the first in a series. I liked the idea that someone would a) have a clown's costume at home at all; b) decide that wearing it to work was better than washing something more sensible the night before; and c) go to the trouble of doing full face make-up. I saw this sketch being extended in a different way, however. The next one was going to be an army uniform inspection with an angry sergeant major looking along a line of men until we reach our man in the clown outfit, at which point he shouts in swift, military style, 'Everything else was in the wash, sir!'

The first one is okay. I originally thought the stylist should just give the guy his iPod and leave it at that, with no line from him.

Ah now I see how the second one works. I'd say don't make it mufty day at work, just have him turn up as a clown. Otherwise I think you deflate the punch a bit.

On that basis it's a very good punch.

I have a tendency to view humour through a darker lense.

Loved the idea of a hairdresser, carving "people equal shit," into that poor guys arm.

Ah, you see, I'm trying to get away from the darker humour that's become more the norm these days. I'm heading back to a gentler, but still sometimes absurd place, where stuff is just funny because it is, not necesarily because we recognise its darker overtones. Which doesn't validate or invalidate either position, obviously - different horses for different glues.

Getting back on topic, you might have a point about the mufti day premise being a bit too contrived. Far better to preserve the sheer absurdity of a guy coming to work dressed as a clown, and let that opener stand or fall on its own until further treatments reinforce it.

Thanks for the input.

The first one worked best for me. The second could be re-worked but the third was the most predictable.

Thanks, David.

I absolutely lurve the first two, the third one not so much. That's humour for you, we are all different.

Quote: Mannikin Bird @ March 24, 2008, 5:52 PM

I absolutely lurve the first two, the third one not so much. That's humour for you, we are all different.

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Thank you.

And you've hit the nail squarely on the head: we all laugh at different things.

That's why 'My Family' has survived for a shocking ten series.