Why did One Direction cross the road? I don't care, just as long as they f**ked off.
Tell us a joke Page 278
For the next two weeks, if you go into any pub around the Wimbledon area dressed as a tennis ball, you'll get served straight away.
My wife was furious when I only inserted one testicle. I got a right bollock in.
Sneezing is like masturbating. Always ends in a-tish-oo.
I'm not saying God doesn't exist. He might exist. Who knows? All I'm saying is if he does exist, every prayer I've ever prayed has gone straight to his spam folder.
Jesus soils his first nappy. Holy shit!
Worst workers are set designers. Always making a scene.
Worst students are archeologists. Always having a dig at someplace.
Worst band is One Direction.
If Stephen Hawking managed to jerk off, would it be a stroke of genius?
What's 4.25 years between friends?
I was waiting for that.
Just tried incest. Oh, brother.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 6th July 2022, 10:04 AMJust tried incest. Oh, brother.
They say you should try everything once in your life except incest ... ... ... and morris dancing.
Mum's the word.
Heard about the tired castrator? He hit the sack.
Heard about the optimistic astronomer? His job is looking up.
Heard One Direction? Good. They are shit.
I was once madly in love with a professional tennis player. But I soon found out that love meant nothing to her.
I played tennis with a naked Spice Girl. The score got to deuce, and so did I.