British Comedy Guide

Factory life...

SCENE 1: INT. STAFF CANTEEN.

A BRIGHT, MODERN AND AIRY STAFF CANTEEN. STAFF IN CLEAN WHITE OVERALLS, BLUE HAIRNETS, CAPS ETC SIT AT THE TABLES EATING, CHATTING READING PAPERS ETC.

THERE IS A LARGE WINDOW AT THE REAR LOOKING DOWN ONTO THE FACTORY FLOOR. “ANIMAL” CARCASSES CAN BEEN SEEN MOVING ALONG THE PRODUCTION LINE, HANGING BY THEIR LIMBS FROM AN OVERHEAD CONVEYER SYSTEM.

MAUREEN AND MABEL ARE SEATED AT A TABLE, THEY ARE JUST FINISHING THE DRINKS AND CIGARETTES.

MAUREEN: That’s me then.

MAUREEN STUBS PUT HER CIGARETTE AND DRAINS HER MUG.

MABEL: I suppose we’d best get back, or we’ll have his lordship on our backs.

MABEL FINISHES HER DRINK, TAKES A LAST DRAG ON HER CIGARETTE AND STUBS IT OUT. BOTH WOMEN STAND AND START TO GATHER TOGETHER THEIR PLATES ETC.

SCENE 2: INT. FACTORY FLOOR.

MAUREEN AND MABEL ARE STANDING AT A SMALL BENCH, WHICH HAS VARIOUS TOOLS LAID OUT ON IT.

MABEL: Have we got many more?

MAUREEN: (FLICKING THROUGH FORMS ON A CLIPBOARD) We’ve got three more of these..

THE NAKED BODY OF A MAN SWINGS INTO VIEW, HANGING FROM THE CONVEYER BY HIS ARMS. HIS HEAD IS COVERED WITH A HESSIAN SACK HIS LEGS ARE KEPT APART BY A METAL BAR STRETCHED BETWEEN HIS ANKLES. HIS BODY IS BLOODIED AND BRUISED.

MAUREEN: (CONT).. Extraordinary Renditions, half a dozen insurgents and then we’re onto detainees.

MABEL: Good, I’ll be home in time for Corrie then.

MAUREEN CHECKS A TAG ON THE MAN AGAINST A FORM ON THE CLIPBOARD. MABEL PICKS UP A LENGTH OF RUBBER HOSE, LOOKS AT THE MAN, PUTS THE HOSE DOWN AND THEN PICKS UP A TAZER. MAUREEN NODS HER AGREEMENT AND MAKES A NOTE ON THE FORM.
MABEL ADVANCES TOWARDS THE MAN.

Now that is a very dark skit. Again lose that first scene, it certainly slows it down. Great idea, maybe they come in, in overalls with mops and buckets 9we think they're cleaners), put the bucket on some ones head, and then beat him with mops?

It's a funny skit, and the idea of every day work, and torture being compared is good.

Cheers sooty.... I do love me set ups though... I can't resist them... I know I shouldn't but I have to... I can't stop meself....

kjs

Fair play, I am at times, a bit self indulgent as a writer. I suppose I'm thinking of stage shows, and stnadup (most of my background), where if you're not there in the first line, you're not any where.

Alexi Sayle was the master of the long set up, and I thought him great.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=o1KMxNVRDJg

Now that's a monster intro

That's a hell of a setup....

kjs

Quote: sootyj @ March 23, 2008, 4:52 PM

Now that is a very dark skit. Again lose that first scene, it certainly slows it down. Great idea, maybe they come in, in overalls with mops and buckets 9we think they're cleaners), put the bucket on some ones head, and then beat him with mops?

It's a funny skit, and the idea of every day work, and torture being compared is good.

What he said. Verbatim.

Very good. I agree with Sooty also.

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