British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,413

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 29th May 2022, 5:32 PM

Btw it's half time, I'm drinking a Heineken at £8 a pop. I'm never coming down to the smoke ever again.

Heineken? Why didn't you collect some from the urinals?

Did Huddersfield have a weird sort of kit this year? Don't get me wrong. The blue and the stripes are lovely. But I was in London on Sunday. Mostly I saw Forest fans in Covent Garden through plumes of red smoke from flares as wary police officers looked on. However, there was the occasional Huddersfield fan including several at Waterloo station. It is the only time I have ever seen men of about six foot three wearing football shirts that were so skimpy it looked like a design that was made for an eight year old midget from China. It was also short - barely reaching below the belly button.

I saw them too. I have to get mine from the XXL store these days but they cover my belly.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 31st May 2022, 9:55 AM

I saw them too. I have to get mine from the XXL store these days but they cover my belly.

It wasn't my imagination then.

How odd.

I'm a big fan of David Wagner. I wanted him for Arsenal. He has had some stunningly pathetic crashes since leaving Huddersfield but I have always had the strong sense that he has one massive achievement in him. Personally I think you should get him back.

Anyway, I was quite happy to see the two sets of fans whatever they were wearing and however badly they were behaving. It made a refreshing change not to be the only person in Central London who is English.

The EU plan on buying their gas in a block of 27 nations. America has all the reserves they need and can even sell excess. Most European countries have also made cuts to the taxes on gas, electric and petrol.
We have no resources or stockpiles and we are a small buyer in a big market and we have a billionaire chancellor who is overseeing a 45% tax levy on every litre of petrol sold in this country. Or for the hardore Brexiteers its around £2.60 a gallon then you have the VAT to add because of course we have a tax on our tax because we're British.

Looks like the shits are leaving the sinking rat.

Et Tu Bojo.
You know it's bad when even Granny Leadsome has got her bread knife out.

Everyone's getting promised a promotion, word has it.
I reckon he'll squeak by, the greased piglet - but it won't do his reputation much good.
( Did I just say 'reputation'?)

I can't see him getting out of it, its his own that are turning. They have been home for the recess out of the clutches of the whips and within earshot of their constituents. I think the feedback they are getting is scaring them.
Of course the Daily Maul and the Scum are saying all is well. But when the blue rinse biddies start complaining and the volunteers dry up , the writing might not be on the wall but it is heading toward the 1922 committee.
I seriously think the numbers are in but they are letting the Jubilee big weekend play out before they announce it.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 31st May 2022, 3:39 PM

I seriously think the numbers are in but they are letting the Jubilee big weekend play out before they announce it.

Shame.
We could do with cheering up.
It would make for a much more festive do.

I think its a genuine possiblity. Ben Wallace has to be in the box seat so keep your eye on him. The maths to this is not just who is sending in letters,. It's also who is coming out in support?
I think there is around 150 of them who draw rations from ministers to bag carriers. So while they will be the last to speak out publicly, the whips will know where they stand ? Plus I don't think there is enough in the pot to offer sweetners. When that happens the only course of action left open is threats , that's how these things pan out. In politics they know all about threats and they can smell if there is no gravitas to them , thats how it pans out.

Ben Wallace certainly seems to be top of the pops.
He was quite shouty about Ukraine.
Table doesn't look too good for BoJo, though.

Image

I've seen that and its source . Only the Maul ,Scum , Torygraph and The Ex Depressed et al are saying all is well, but its clearly not.
The spinners and spads are acting like Covid was a biblical plague and they got their side to put Bojo Pictures on their doors and it passed over.
People from every side of the political spectrum watched their love ones die through windows and had to stay away from the vunerable etc.
On top of that every penny he gives to the poor annoys the rich .
So to quote a great Scouser (Rex Harrison) he is politcal 'Push Me Pull Me'.

Quote: Chappers @ 31st May 2022, 8:51 AM

Heineken? Why didn't you collect some from the urinals?

I'd love to say it was weak piss but it was beautiful.

Supermarkets and retailers have warned Boris Johnson that a return to imperial measurements would lead to a hike in prices just as UK households face a cost of living crisis.

The warning comes after Boris Johnson announced that as part of broader plans to reshape UK laws after Brexit, the government would be launching a review to bring back imperial measurements.

Johnson is keen to bring back measurements in pounds and ounces and is expected to announce the move during the Queen's Platinum Jubilee as part of an attempt to garner support among Tory members and Brexit voters.

The announcement had been ridiculed with some slamming it as a 'deadcat from the PM' to 'distract from Govt corruption' as well as the findings of the Sue Gray report.

Tory MPs have also criticised the plan, with Tobias Ellwood saying it was far from the "visionary, progressive" thinking that the Conservative Party requires, while Tory MP Alicia Kearns said: "This isn't a Brexit freedom. It's nonsense."

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