Most of the newspapers are owned by billionaires so surprise, surprise they are completely biased in favour of the tories
That's a fact, not paranoia
I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,392
You can have your own opinions, but you can't have your own facts.
Nell Frizell describes how all of the countryside smells like semen and she is furious none of us have realised it.
Well, so sorry, dear.
Call me weird but I had my nostrils in the hyacinths.
Is she:
(1) Utterly inspiring - this is precisely why I buy The Guardian
(2) The real life Fleabag
(3) Raving mad or
(4) Just a dirty old woman who gets off on being controversial while raking in big money?
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 2nd May 2022, 7:29 PMExcept when it was a fact that Angela Rayner was not present at a campaigning event with Keir Starmer in Durham last April.
If it was a fact - it's a fact.
There seems to be some confusion over what a fact is.
But that's 12 years of Tory rule for you.
Whether it's an important fact is another matter.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 2nd May 2022, 8:39 PMYou can have your own opinions, but you can't have your own facts.
Couldn't agree more.
If you could pass that on to your chums at the Daily Mail, that would be fabulous.
That Daily Mail "Lockdown Curry" photograph, for reference.
Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd May 2022, 9:58 PMWhether it's an important fact is another matter.
Of course it's important. I'm no apologist for the Johnson government as you know but let's not be hypocritical. If the offence with "partygate" was not only the parties but the lying about it, then the same is true of the Keir Starmer/Angela Rayner episode.
Sorry but the thread is supposed to be about the news.
All news now is sex.
There is no sex in this curry business.
So it isn't news.
Quote: A Horseradish @ 2nd May 2022, 9:08 PMNell Frizell describes how all of the countryside smells like semen and she is furious none of us have realised it.
Well, so sorry, dear.
Call me weird but I had my nostrils in the hyacinths.
Is she:
(1) Utterly inspiring - this is precisely why I buy The Guardian
(2) The real life Fleabag
(3) Raving mad or
(4) Just a dirty old woman who gets off on being controversial while raking in big money?
Jeepers! I assumed this was one of your offbeat outbursts (many of which I enjoy and derive merriment from), but it's a genuine article! A real woman talking about the smell of fornication in the air and so forth! In an article in the f**ken Guardian!?
As Mark Twain once said: truth is stranger than A Horseradish's jokes...
It's the Guardian. What do you expect? Sanity and common sense?
Quote: a plate @ 2nd May 2022, 10:46 PMJeepers! I assumed this was one of your offbeat outbursts (many of which I enjoy and derive merriment from), but it's a genuine article! A real woman talking about the smell of fornication in the air and so forth! In an article in the f**ken Guardian!?
As Mark Twain once said: truth is stranger than A Horseradish's jokes...
Merriment, merriment.....it's too good to hurry, erm.......mints.
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 2nd May 2022, 11:00 PMIt's the Guardian. What do you expect? Sanity and common sense?
I don't really read it but perhaps I overestimated the standard of journalism! No offense to the author of the article, perhaps she's written better stuff and it's not all of that nature..!
Quote: A Horseradish @ 2nd May 2022, 11:30 PMMerriment, merriment.....it's too good to hurry, erm.......mints.
I remember it. More journalism!
I feel as if I'm going to bed.
Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd May 2022, 9:58 PMIf it was a fact - it's a fact.
There seems to be some confusion over what a fact is.
But that's 12 years of Tory rule for you.
Whether it's an important fact is another matter.
.
Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd May 2022, 9:58 PMIf it was a fact - it's a fact.
There seems to be some confusion over what a fact is.
But that's 12 years of Tory rule for you.
Whether it's an important fact is another matter.
.
I suggest it is you who struggles with the meaning of 'fact'
Looks like another Fact Hunt.
Who you calling a fat c - oh wait..........
The Troot:
Tuesday Edition
"We tell the troot and nuttin' but the troot"
Officially sponsored by the Dominatrix Escorts Combine Harvester Company.
Economy and Bonking
Chancellor Rishi Sunaks has announced that the inflations has gone up to 27 per cents, unemployments has hit 17 millions, and the sextuple locks on the pensions will be abolished. Rachel Reeves of the Labour Party mashed up his policies saying that this would be especially bad news for women with massive breasts and men with gigantic penises. It was about time, she said, that these voters and other persons aged two or over with a clear sexual orientation said to him inna di morrows.
Fracking and Shagging
Home Secretary Priti Patels has confirmed that 12 million protesters turned up unexpectedly on Thursday at the suddenly opened 523 new fracking sites. Howevers, not one arrest has been made. "I have orgasms five times each day over law and order" she said, "but police peoples and other police beings assessed that all of of them were just there to say mi deh yah, yuh know. Furthermore, their tactics were a clever combination of nude orgies and guzumba. Consequently, no officer was able to resist joining in.
Parliament and Prostitution
Duppy Conqueror, the Artist formerly known as Jacobs Rees-Moggs, has formally opened Parliament's tax payer funded brothel. Conqueror, who was the last man in Britain to lawfully go through a sexual conversion therapy which successfully changed him from gay to straight, explained that this would calm down women MPs who had long been fighting for greater rights of self-expression. Furthermore it was a win win situation as male Conservative MPs who waan flap a wing can now do so whenever they wants without criticism.
Ukraine and Hot Sleazy Stuff
Finally, on this hour of every hour, the Prime Minister of Ukraine, Boris Johnsons, jetted off from London Heathrow once again for Keeeeeeeeeeeeev to announce his latest economic package. Hidden sources say that this will comprise seven million nuclear bombs, 22 million jazz mags, 46 million condoms and a copy of the winner of this years's Nobel Prize for Literature "How to Liberalise Yer Fasicsm By Promoting S and M".
While Johnsons was unusually coy when being asked for these details by waiting reporters, British President Volodymyr-Volodymyr Zelinskiiiiiiiy confirmed that Johnsons was of the view that it had all gone tits up or as he put it chaka-chaka. What he was saying to his Ukrainian people was bless up, mi soon come to kick up rumpus. But did Johnsons have any words for anyones in England or any of the other countries that were not his own?
Yes, Zelinskiiiiiiiy replied from his new official residence in Park Lane, Central London. He has tweeted "lock yerselves down to stop da fever, take the cock or the growler to the beaver, degradation for yer nation to the vibe of radiation. Yuh likkle more den when you've all smalled up yuhselves, everyting cook and curry, all fruits ripe and cris n cum, yeah?".
I have been Alvar Omnira Lidell
(him/her/they/hey/goat/anti aircraft missile/early warning system/wowzer)
.............and you have been reading the troot.
Quote: a plate @ 2nd May 2022, 10:46 PMJeepers! I assumed this was one of your offbeat outbursts (many of which I enjoy and derive merriment from), but it's a genuine article! A real woman talking about the smell of fornication in the air and so forth! In an article in the f**ken Guardian!?
I didn't read the article, but my neighborhood smells like semen. The smell comes from numerous Callery pear trees, known as 'Bradford pears' here in the States. They're an attractive, fast-growing, ornamental tree that originated in China. They're weak-limbed and don't live very long. Check out the Wikipedia entry for confirmation that the flowers smell like semen (or rotting fish).