Ext. Front of house.
A man and woman stand by the front door. The man rings the door bell.
Woman: I hope your parents like me.
Man: They’ll love you. Don’t worry.
The door opens to reveal a human sized dung beetle.
Beetle dad: (CHIRPS)
Man: Hey Dad!
Woman: Dad?
Beetle dad: (CLICKS)
Man: (LAUGHS) I forgot to tell you didn’t I! I’m adopted!
Woman: By dung beetles?!
Beetle dad: (HISSES)
Man: He says he likes you!
The man enters the house. The woman stands there looking at beetle dad.
Beetle dad: (LONG SLURPING NOISE)
CUT TO: Int. Dining Room.
The man, woman and beetle dad are sat at the table. Soft music is playing.
Man: So how’s work dad?
Beetle dad: (SNORTS)
Man: Well that’s unions for you!
Beetle dad points at the woman and makes spluttering noises.
Woman: I’m sorry?
Beetle dad: (CHATTERS)
Man: He wants to know if you like dung.
Woman: Dung?
Beetle dad nods.
Woman: I don’t understand.
Beetle mum, wearing an apron, enters and rolls a large piece of dung towards the table. She puts it on the table. She looks at the woman and hisses menacingly.
Man: She says you’re pretty!
Woman: Are we going to be eating… dung?
Man: Yes! My mother got it especially from the zoo. It’s rhinoceros.
The woman starts dry retching.
Man: Tuck in!
The man carves a large piece of dung off. He puts it on his plate.
Woman: I’m going.
The woman runs off. The man runs after her.
Man: Come back!
Beetle mum looks at beetle dad.
Beetle mum: (CHIRPS) (SUBTITLED TO) Where does he meet ‘em?
Beetle dad: (HISSES)
ENDS
